I have seen the names of those I know, and, yes, I have cried. My problem is I don't know the names of those I tried to help only to have them die in my arms. In my sleep, I hear their cries and see their faces... Attached to this letter are my service medals. I don't need them to show I was there. I have your faces in my sleep. ~ Letter left at the Wall
January 1, 2015 ...
Barefoot, I follow the water's edge looking for a glint of sea glass.
Maybe today. Lost in the thundering surf, I'm at
peace as white-winged seagulls freckle the face of the sun. Icy foam encircles my ankles, then quickly slips back into the sea on its
endless journey to nowhere.
Point Dume
quiets my many thoughts.
My
New Years Day ritual. A perfect place to
begin again. The crisp breeze carries a fragrance like no other. Like salty water, or is it tears? The crashing surf
calls with a voice from the deep. And if you
listen closely ... it will
speak to you.
Later, I sit on the sand with my journal and talk with
God, sharing my hopes and visions for the new year. He knows my
heart. And I know His. I ask for
guidance. I ask Him to put the people on my
path He wants me to
meet. I NEVER know who will appear.
Be
careful of what you ask for. His thoughts are
BIGGER than ours.
Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you.
~ Matt. 7:7
Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, my memoir, took
sixteen years to write. But not by choice. I resisted for 3 years. The push became a shove. An intense task for a
beginner. Yet I knew others shared my story. If only I could give them
HOPE ...
This book shows
innocent love unblemished with hope and promise, unaware of the imminent
demons vowing destruction. For
eighteen years, my husband, the love of my live, fought the demons that rode his back home from
Vietnam. They vowed destruction, yet
Jekyll and Hyde broke my heart. A story of
love made strong and raw
truth revealed.
PTSD is a silent parasite that not only invades our
veterans ... but also the ones they love.
I can give you
HOPE ... if you give me a
chance.
When the world says "give up," hope whispers, "try one more time."
~ Author Unknown
Today, literary agents want
submissions sent via email. I queried
Diary of a Vet's Wife for one full year after completion in
2011. The rare
rejections I received were polite ... most were simply
deleted. No agent was willing to
touch the subject.
Where do I go from here?
BLOG OF A VET'S WIFE went live
April 2011. Traffic showed STUNNING interest throughout the world. As a closet writer for all those years, I never anticipated this response. Yet there they were ...
76 different countries to date.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder continues to grow like mold as
war continues to cover our tiny blue planet hung in the middle of the universe. Possibly hundreds of thousands of families are living with
PTSD at this moment. Men and women who
love their warriors and bravely
grieve, knowing life will
never be the same.
How does one CARE when one doesn't know? Does one DARE
TO FEEL the heartbreak of these families who could one day be theirs? Can ONE STORY touch the heart of a nation, or the world?
"Courage is simply not one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point, which means at the point of the highest reality. " ~ CS Lewis
February 6 - I was approached by a friend after church. One of her speakers for a Retreat had cancelled. She asked if I would consider sharing my story in her place on the 28th. I had put my heart on paper, but to say it out loud in front of one hundred women ... I hesitated. Was it my PTSD? She asked me to pray on it. I did and was dutifully pushed to accept. My fear of public speaking shot through the roof.
February 28 - Fear
persisted. But
I knew I must do this
. The fourth of seven speakers, I had never talked into a
microphone. Yet here I was. Suddenly, under a stark white
spotlight, it was like someone else was talking through me. My story was openly received. Many came up to speak with me. One
bubbly woman said her husband worked with a local radio station,
KKLA, and she was sure they would want my story. She gave me a number to call. But for many reasons we
never connected.
March 21 - My friend, Sandy, invited me to visit a different church.
Frank Sontag was to be the speaker.
The same man I was trying be introduced to! He hosts his own show on 99.5
KKLA six days a week from 4-6pm ... the
largest Christian station in L.A.
I don't believe in coincidence!
March 22 - We arrived at church early and I was able to
speak briefly with
Frank before the service. He knew of me through our mutual friend. I offered him a copy of
my book for review, which he took on the spot.
March 23 - The NEXT DAY an email arrived from
KKLA asking what days would be
convenient for me to
share my story on their show! That was FAST! A few emails later, a day and time were set. After all these years ... it was REALLY happening!
Could I even do this? I was a
wreck. At church, I was allowed to read my 20 minute testimony. On the
radio ... it's an
open mic conversation for an HOUR!
April 6th - My friend, Pauline, offered to chauffeur me to the
KKLA studio in Glendale for the 4pm segment. Traffic was HORRIFIC. I was happy she was driving. We arrived in enough time for a picnic lunch in a lovely little park nearby ... sunshine, sushi and home made cookies. Yummm.
At the
Salem Media building, a smiling
gentleman approached with an outstretched hand and invited us into his office.
Terry Keyes, the station manager, wanted to talk a bit before I went on air. His relaxed manner instantly put me at ease.
Soon we were handed badges to hang around our necks, then escorted into the studio where
Frank Sontag waited.
It was
dreamlike ...
Frank sat behind a large half-moon desk. Four microphones permanently mounted along the outside edge. A chair by each. His
smiling eyes welcomed me. I couldn't
hide my nervousness. He graciously
assured me everything would be
fine. We talked briefly, then he prayed.
I watched as he put on his
headset, then welcome his audience like I'd heard him do on the radio at home and in my car. Then he introduced ME
as his GUEST and the AUTHOR
of
Diary of a Vet's Wife ... it was SURREAL. My jitters were fading, but my mouth wouldn't form the words I wanted to say. Frank continued to
smile and nod his head in
approval.
I remember sitting there, but I don't remember talking.
Strange. If it wasn't for the fact they TAPED the show, I'd think it never happened. My one hour interview actually stretched into the second segment. An extraordinary
experience I will NEVER forget.
Frank Sontag is the
KINDEST and most GRACIOUS
man I have ever met. He helped me relax as he guided me through my
first interview. I shall forever be
thankful for this opportunity to share my story and my passion.
To hear MY INTERVIEW - BLOOPERS and all - google
The Frank Sontag Show Podcasts. The interview was
April 6th (2015-4-06) - Show Hour 1 and Show Hour 2.
And thank YOU for continuing to follow my blog. Blessings to each of you and your family.
"We honor the courageous service of America's 2.8 million Vietnam Veterans - especially the 58,226 men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice in serving their country for the enduring cause of freedom." ~ The Wall Within
NO WAY TO REACH YOU
Geri ... If you're the woman who sent me a poem your husband wrote, please contact me at onhrway@earthlink.net. I'm anxious to talk with you. Blessings.
