PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Where's the Book!?!

On July 28, 2012, I learned that my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder had slammed into a brick wall, and for a while, I didn't know if my PERFECT COVER was going to survive.  I was crushed . . . but not broken.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.     Gilda Radner

My last post on July 16^th was a SNEAK PEEK at the cover of my memoir, Diary of a Vet’s Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The PERFECT COVER for my story!

A literary high enveloped me as I downloaded my PERFECT COVER to Booklocker, my self-publisher, on July 28th.  My mind wandered as I envisioned unwrapping the brown paper package, which could arrive within two weeks.  After all the tears and all the years, I would finally hold in my hands, the first copy of Diary of a Vet's Wife, otherwise known as the galley.

The next day, I learned my cover had been rejected!!

It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.   Robert W. Service, poet

BookLocker’s email indicated there was no bleed . . . .  

What did that mean? I had no idea, so I looked it up: "A bleed is when a photo or graphic runs beyond the edge of the finished printed page, with the excess trimmed off before the book is bound.  You prepare for a bleed in the document setup before you begin your layout, and in the file preparation for the commercial printer after the design is finished."

I forwarded BookLocker's email to Australia, but they were already on holiday in Hawaii.  And I was leaving for my family reunion in Ohio - for THREE weeks.  What a predicament!

Hence, the parade of delays began . . . .

Once I returned from Ohio, my team in Australia worked diligently to correct the problem.  After another rejection, they apologized with the fact that they were unable to meet all of the printer's specifications.

I contacted BookLocker and asked if their cover designer could correct the bleed.  My next lesson unfolded . . . "like all written material, there’s an automatic copyright on original covers."  BookLocker’s cover designer would only design a NEW COVER!

But I didn't want a new cover!  Was I about to lose my PERFECT COVER?

A tearful pity party brought my sister to my rescue.  She and her husband have published a local newspaper in Ohio since 1995.  She said SHE COULD FIX IT!!  Thank you, Lord.  However, she and her assistant must start from scratch.  By working with the team in Australia, they could duplicate the original cover design, but I'd have to WAIT IN LINE with the newspapers yet to be published.  

“A setback is a setup for a comeback.”  T.D. Jakes 

Sadly, my technical-know-how could swim laps in a match box.  Without going into detail, I learned that "computer advertising" and "newspaper printing" each have their own unique set of specifications.  Never the two shall mix like oil and water.  Period.  

Self-publishing is a little like putting an octopus to bed.   Anne Lamott

I'll skip the details.  As soon as the three editions went to press, my sister, Karen, and her assistant, Amanda, went to work to re-create my PERFECT COVER.  All of the original photos, blurbs, book review, etc., had been sent from Sydney to Ohio, where everyone concurred to duplicate the original cover.  There were a few snags along the way, but all were determined to make it happen.  My sister is amazing!

I held my breath and waited.  Everything was upside-down and I had no idea how to translate this into a blog.  Anyone ever been there?

On October 29th, the re-creation of my PERFECT COVER was downloaded to BookLocker!  They acknowledged receipt!  The next day, I learned that shortly after my cover was sent, Hurricane Sandy hit Ohio, knocking power out for three days.  I feel guilty being happy when so many have had their lives and futures destroyed.  Please forgive me.

Where am I today?

As a writer, who decided to self-publish after a year of querying with no results, I can breathe again.  If I had known the challenges up-front, would I still have proceeded?  I don't know.  But I do know I'm a much stronger and self-confident person because of this journey.

What next? 

I wait for the galley.  And as soon as it arrives, I'm going to Trader Joes and buy bouquets of yellow roses!  Off  in the distance you might hear the sound of fireworks soaring through the heavens, as I compose a blog with the announcement.  I've spent almost two decades preparing for this moment!

My Personal Request ~

If anyone reading my memoir knew my husband, Lorne, in Viet Nam, I'd like to communicate with you.  Does anyone know who took the picture that's on the cover?  I'd be most grateful. . . .   

Please contact me @ diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com.  

Survived Main Speech / A Book Cover Quest . . .

The way you overcome shyness is to become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid. ~Claudia Lady Bird Johnson

My TOPIC SPEECH is over, and I'm GLAD! How can we, intelligent mature adults, be so daunted by a 5-minute speech? After all, it's not like we're running for office! It seems absurd . . . unless it's stalking you like the paranormal abomination residing in your attic. 

Writing my speech was PAINLESS compared to the APPREHENSION that followed. A general speech consists of "a HOOK," THREE MAIN POINTS, and a STRONG CONCLUSION. As soon as my speech was proofed, my PAUSES highlighted, and then printed . . . my pulse kicked-up a knotch. Now I had to PRACTICE! 

The full-length mirror behind my bedroom door, served as an audience. A tall stool acted as my podium, and my new digital-recorder was the microphone. I was coached to "leave the podium," and walk from one side of the stage to the other. This was DELINITELY out of my COMFORT ZONE! Closet writers are not gregarious . . .

My coach recommended I MEMORIZE my "OPENING and the CONCLUSION," speaking from my HEART. I could read THE BODY, if necessary, as long as I maintained EYE CONTACT with the audience. I practiced until I wore a footpath in my white carpet . . .

I soon knew most of the BODY by heart, but my problem was the ticking clock. The speech was to last 5-minutes or less!  A time-keeper with green, yellow and red cards in her lap, would FLASH them at different intervals, allowing a 30-second GRACE PERIOD at the end. If exceeded, you're clapped off! Which would be EMBARRASSING! This was a concern as I continued to exceed 5 minutes when I practiced without reading . . .

Thursday evening, our Master of Ceremonies introduced me, then handed me the microphone. I thanked her, placed my notes on the podium, took a deep breath, and looked around at the audience.  Then I began to speak as I glided across the stage . . . holding the cord in my other hand.

"IMAGINE . . . you're sitting in your car . . . the doors and windows are LOCKED . . . the gas pedal's pushed to the floor . . . the engine is RACING . . . the horn is BLARING . . . and YOU CAN'T GET OUT!" I stated firmly.

"This is what POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER feels like as was told by one young veteran to his army doctor . . ."

At the end of my speech, I still had time left. Everyone clapped and my PRESENTATION EVALUATIONS were extremely complementary. This time I didn't shake, and I knew I had just stepped OUTSIDE-OF-THE-BOX where I normally reside . . . I felt the wind in my face!! 


WHAT'S IN A BOOK COVER . . . TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

Last week, I mentioned that Tom Carey, a classmate from my writing class in Santa Barbara, brought in a sample cover for my book that he had graciously developed . . . which I never got to see because I was home memorizing my speech . . .

I was determined not to let that happen again, even though I was giving my Main Speech that evening.

When Tom arrived at class, he quietly took a seat at the desk in front of me, and within minutes, he set his artwork on my desk, then turned because Cork, our teacher, was starting class. 

During the 16 years I spent writing Diary of a Vet's Wife, I never once conjured up an image for a bookcover. Not once! Up until now, my book was only words in my head, on paper, and spoken out loud.

When Tom first offered, he asked for my ideas . . . I had none! All I could give him were words:  LOVE, MARRIAGE, FAMILY, WAR, VIETNAM VET, POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER, CHURCH . . . but nothing concrete. The only thing Tom had to go on . . . he heard me read a few chapters from my book on different occassions.

When I FIRST SAW his concept. . . I was STUNNED! Good? Bad? I didn't know. I had no idea what I wanted in the first place, so I had no idea what to expect! I put it away in a folder.  A little later, I looked at it again. Still unsure. I did this a number of times. Tom and I talked some at break, but I believed he understood what I struggled with. HIS ARTWORK was COMPELLING!  I won't go into detail because I may want to keep it UNDER WRAP until my book release  . . . but I vascillated for days.

I can only describe the feeling as a woman who is pregnant for nine months . . . She knows she has a child growing within her, she can feel it move, but she has no idea what it looks like. The day her child is born is the first time she SEES her baby. A tiny stranger who will be with her THE REST OF HER LIFE . . .

A cover gives my book a life of its own! This is the first time MY WORDS HAVE A FACE! The reality is startling and wonderful at the same time. It's HUGE! It's been 4 days and I've grown to LOVE IT! So much so, I've asked Tom to join me on My Journey into Publishing My First Book . . . I'm waiting for his answer.

You can visit Tom Carey @ AndAwayWeGotheDyslexicWriter Artist and Traveler

Lesson Learned . . . my two cents

A book cover should SHOW what your story is about and GRAB the readers attention!  This can be difficult . . . but it's most important!

Remember: Covers sell books.  Also, ask your designer to generate a variety of iterations of the image: large, small, hi-resolution (for print publications), low-resolution (for web-based publications), and even black and white.  When it comes time to promote your book on other sites, it will make their job easier if you're able to send them the right size artwork.  (Well-Fed Self Publisher - Peter Bowerman)