PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Bittersweet is November

“Liberty is never unalienable; it must be redeemed regularly with the blood of patriots or it always vanishes. Of all the so-called natural human rights that have ever been invented, liberty is least likely to be cheap and is never free of cost.”   ― Robert A. Heinlein

November 11, 1919, was the first anniversary of the signing of the armistice, which ended World War I.  Celebrated as Armistice Day, it was dedicated to the cause of world peace.  The day was commemorated with prayer and thanksgiving, filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who selflessly served our country.  In 1954, the word Armistice was stricken and Veterans Day took its place in history.  Each year, November 11th is a national holiday to ensure that ALL our veterans know how deeply we appreciate the sacrifices they have made in their lives with parades and speeches. Yet we owe them so much more . . .

I have seen it in your face
I am sure you have noticed it in mine;
that thousand-yard stare
that does not look out --
it looks in --
at the unutterable,
unalterable truth of our war.   ~ The Wall Within

This may not be the best time.  My blog is heading in a direction that I had not planned.  But I'm on a roll and words are flooding my computer screen.  It wants be written . . .  

Veterans Day, Memorial Day and the 4th of July are the holidays that grab me by the ankles. My senses are on high alert, certain images bring flashbacks, and tears simply break loose at the strangest times.  My memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder shows my journey with the love of my life as we battle his PTSD.  It wasn't until years later, when I began to research this disorder for my book, that I learned I had PTSD as well . . . through association.  I now know that this is why I react to certain stimuli the way I do. The dreams are less often, but I can't watch a war movie or war news without tears. Nor can I sing patriotic songs without blubbering.  The homeless veterans rip my heart.  And I have yet to be able to thank a veteran for his service at the airport or out in public without stammering over the searing lump in my throat, tears embarrassing us both.

Does anyone else go through this after so many years . . . or is it just me?

I stood there one fall
ankle deep in leaves
and looked up at the night sky
through a hole in a ceiling of trees
wondering how much better the world
might look from up there.   ~ The Wall Within

Most of my days hum effortlessly with a plethora of activity tossing me from one hour to the next. My energy level soars as I juggle the shiny balls overhead.  But then comes November swooping down on me like an eagle preparing to snatch me away.

Each November arrives with poignant promptings of the past intertwined with the present, like a finely woven sterling chain around my neck. Veteran's Day is in November, stirring up vivid memories of love and pain from long ago. No matter how long, no one ever forgets!  My husbands birthday is in November.  The 18th.  In 2001, after years scattered with tears, I received an amazing GIFT on Lorne's birthday.  My youngest granddaughter was born!  Was it a coincidence?  No ... I know it was a GIFT to help heal my heart.  

Bittersweet is the taste of November.

Veterans Facts

There are approximately 23.2 million veterans in the United States.

These brave men and women who serve and protect our country come from all walks of life; they are parents, children and grandparents.  They are friends, neighbors and coworkers, and an important part of their communities.  Here are some facts about the current veteran population of the United States.

• 9.2 million veterans are over the age of 65.
• 1.9 million veterans are under the age of 35.
• 1.8 million veterans are women. (For another post)
• 7.8 million veterans served during the Vietnam War era (1964-1975), which represents 33% of all living veterans.
• 5.2 million veterans served during the Gulf War (representing service from Aug. 2, 1990, to present).
• 2.6 veterans served during World War II (1941-1945)
• 2.8 million veterans served during the Korean War (1950-1953)
• 6 million veterans served in peacetime.
• As of 2008, 2.9 million veterans received compensation for service-connected disabilities.
• 5 states have more than 1 million veterans in among their population: California (2.1 million), Florida (1.7 million), Texas ( 1.7 million), New York (1 million) and Pennsylvania (1 million).
• The VA health care system had 54 hospitals in 1930, since then it has expanded to include 171 medical centers; more than 350 outpatient, community and outreach clinics; 126 nursing home care units; and 35 live-in care facilities for injured or disabled vets.

U.S. Census Bureau and United States Department of Veterans Affairs

Note: I was unable to locate veteran statistics beyond 2010.  These numbers would increase greatly with that information.  

The SADDEST question of all:  How many of these BRAVE and HONORABLE men and women live on the STREETS?  This must end!  We MUST take care of our own!

God bless America and the honorable men and women at her beacon call.

 

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / The Truth and Vulnerability

“A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.”       ― Ian McEwan 
 

My memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, has reached the far corners of our planet in search of readers living in the wake of PTSD. I invite others with compassion for our warriors, to learn what too many veterans contend with after they return from combat. Each family may cope with something different, yet we belong to each other. I can only show what happened to me and my family.
 

Telling the truth has opened wounds I cannot heal. I can only say, "I'm sorry." Had I not put my story on paper, I was sure it would have eaten me alive from the inside out. I have made myself vulnerable so others might learn and to give them hope.

It takes two to speak the truth one to speak, and another to hear. ~ Henry David Thoreau

The past months have vanished like a breath in the wind as I plow through books and websites of  MARKETING ideas. Each morning I face my opponent boldly as it winks and taunts me with a beckoning finger, enticing me into yet another maze of information to be digested. It can be overwhelming, but I know this too shall pass.

Regretfully, I've had little time lately for writing and creating, so I decided to post a blog from earlier last year that you may not have seen:

Wounded Warriors Walk Among Us     (February 2, 2012)

"After wars' end, soldiers once again become civilians and return to their families to try to pick up where they left off.  It is this process of readjustment that has, more often than not, been ignored by society." -- Major Robert H. Stretch, Ph.D in Textbook of Military Medicine: Vol. 6 Combat Stress

Recently, we witnessed our troops returning home from Iraq. It was the biggest U.S. withdrawal since WWII with another 33,000 troops due home from Afghanistan this year. Certainly GREAT NEWS for families praying for their safe return.  

Major television stations throughout the country broadcast the "Homecoming" of these brave man and women reuniting with loved ones after a long fierce war. Spellbound voyeurs, we shared in the first crushing embraces and unashamed tears, while young children were swooped up in happiness and held high overhead. We grinned as bright-eyed babies warily met their fathers for the first time.

But all parties come to an end. The time comes for our veterans to return home and emotionally detach from the war they left behind thousands of miles across the sea. Everyone wants to believe they can STEP BACK into the lives they left behind - but it hurts me to say, it doesn't work that way. 

Battle has changed each of them. Some physically, all mentally. It's this knowledge that burdens my heart. I've been there - I know what clings to the shadows.

When news came to Walt Whitman that his brother George had been wounded at Fredericksburg during the Civil War, Whitman rushed south to find him. Though his brother's injury was slight, Whitman was deeply affected by his first view of the war's casualties. He began visiting the camp's wounded and, almost by accident, found his calling for the duration of the war. Three years later, he emerged as the war's "most unlikely hero," a living symbol of American democratic ideals of sharing and brotherhood.    

                     - The Better Angel, by acclaimed biographer Roy Morris, Jr.

Last week on MSNBC, I saw that St Louis was the first city in our country to have a parade for their returning warriors from Iraq. I was moved by the heart of this city because they understood what should be done to HONOR our veterans and help the HEALING begin  . . . and they did it!   

  

Why hasn't this happened all over the country? These brave men and women deserve our loyalty and respect along with our ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of the SACRIFICES they endured for us. We sit home safe and secure enjoying the peace we take for granted, while these men and women fight and die for our country in another land far away. I don't understand .
    

  

I feel the need to share my thoughts because I lived with a Vietnam veteran who suffered with PTSD for 16 years. He was the love of my life, but at that time there was no help. Today, resources are at our fingertips through the wonder of the Internet. Although they are still not enough to meet all the needs of our veterans it's a start. 

One reason I wrote my story, Diary of a Vet's Wife, was to show our country what was happening right under their noses, and to give support to those families now living the nightmare. This CRISIS is real. The war does not stop when our troops withdraw from combat. It follows them home like a big black dog.

My memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, shows the devastating side effects of war on one family, yet I know there are mega-thousands throughout the world living this nightmare as I once did.  How can we STOP it?

The signs of post traumatic stress disorder MAY start out subtle. Many refuse to admit anything is wrong.

What You Need to Know

• Traumas happen to many competent, healthy, strong, good people.
• Many people have long-lasting problems following exposure to trauma.
• People who react to traumas are not going crazy.
• Having symptoms after a traumatic event is not a sign of personal weakness.
• When a person understands trauma symptoms better, he or she become less fearful and are better able to manage them.

PTSD Symptoms/Signs generally fall into 3 main categories: 

    

     Intrusive - Re-experiencing traumatic events                                                

• Distressing recollections
• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Feeling anxious or fearful

     Avoidant - Drawing inward or becoming emotionally numb

• Extensive and active avoidance
• Loss of interest
• Feeling detached from others
• Restricting your emotions
• Trouble remembering
• Shutting down
• Feeling strange
• Not feeling pain or other sensations

     Hyper-arousal - Increased physical or emotional arousal

• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly
• An exaggerated startle response
• Being overly angry or aggressive
• Panic attacks

     Triggers can include the following:

• Specific scenes
• Movement
• TV
• Sound or smell
• Reading
• Touch
• Situational

If you or a loved one seems overwhelmed by PTSD symptoms, please remember, there are many resources available to you. If you need immediate help, PLEASE GET IT NOW! PTSD does not go away on it's own . . . and will only get worse left unattended. 

Below I've listed the number of The Veterans Crisis Line. Please check out Veterans Crisis Line.net, even if you don't think you need it now. Get familiar with the resources available, and save this information for easy access.  Please call . . .


The Veterans Crisis Line is a U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs resource that connects Veterans in crisis and their families with qualified, caring VA professionals through a confidential toll-free hotline and on-line chat.

Download the Veterans Crisis Line logos and other graphics to display on your website or materials to show support for our Nation's Veterans and help them get the care they deserve.

The new VA suicide prevention hotline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), recently reported that it's received more than 55,000 calls, averaging 120 per day, with about 22,000 callers saying they were veterans.

(Excerpts taken from retired website: PTSD Combat: Winning the War Within)

 Lesson Learned . . . My two cents

"We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full."    - Marcel Proust

Thank you for stopping. If you're unable to post a comment here, you can email me at:  onhrway@earthlink.net.