PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife Appeared on My Doorstep!

The first copy of Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sits on my desk at my elbow. My husband's eyes look over at me. What I'm feeling is difficult to put into words, something quite poignant. After all the years and all the tears, my MEMOIR not only has a face, but now it has a physical presence. I hold in my hand a piece of my life that was so powerful I had to put it on paper to keep my heart from shattering. As I fan through the pages I watch my words blur under my thumb. I'm afraid if I blink it will disappear.

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the  hearts of men.
      ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It wasn't until I contacted my self-publisher to approve the galley that I learned there was still more WRITING to be done! More delay!

I was now requested to submit the Book Page Submission Form which included the following:

1. Author bio. Must use third person. Limit 50 words.
2. The total number of physical pages.
3. Search Terms. Specific words and phrases related to the subject of my book. Limit 20 words or phrases.
4. Chapters to Excerpt. They found that offering one or two chapters of the book for free to customers helped improve a books sales.
5. Short Description. Would be displayed on the category page. Limit 10 words. (Ten words? They had to be kidding!)
6. Long Description. It needed to be a description of what the book is about. LIMIT 500 WORDS. (This was going to take some time!)

It wouldn't be half-bad, if that was ALL that I was doing right now . . .

However, I'm also in the middle of getting ready to leave for AUSTRALIA on Saturday, December 8th to spend Christmas with my daughter and her family, returning on the 27th. What a dilemma! Everyone knows I HATE to pack, which I posted last year when I went to New Zealand. I still need to find that professional packer!

Talk about PRESSURE! Not to mention Christmas cards and presents.  It's a special time of year when we're should to be filled with peace and joy. Honestly, I am filled with GREAT JOY and thanksgiving, but where can I find peace with so much still to be done? Probably not until I buckle my seatbelt on Virgin Australia. :)

But there is HAPPY NEWS . . .

The writing requirements have been completed and my BOOK went up for SALE late yesterday afternoon at BookLocker, my self-publisher. The AUTHOR PAGE looks amazing! The book should appear soon on the other online sites (Amazon, B&N, Books-a-Million, etc), but I'll be out of pocket when it happens. The author photo was attached today and I leave for Australia on Saturday. Now this is what I call "CUTTING IT CLOSE!" :)

Attached is the link: http://booklocker.com/books/6576.html. The complete first chapter is available for viewing.

I apologize for writing in such haste, but I wanted to reach you before my flight takes off. I'll still be burning the midnight oil, but I'll definitely be happy to check "WRITE BLOG" off of my list. :)

I wish each of you a wonderful holiday season with friends and loved ones according to the tradition you celebrate. 2013 is but weeks away when we hail in another NEW YEAR. If I had only one wish, it would be that all wars end and that all peoples come together to live as one in peace and love . . .

"Safety and happiness can only come from individuals, classes, and nations being honest and fair and kind to each other."    ~ C.S. Lewis

Ghost of Christmas Past / Chapter 15 Excerpt

For many children, Christmas is a time of year filled with wonder and excitement . . . it's Jesus birthday and Santa Claus is coming!  Pine trees are dragged indoors to be decorated.  Strings of colored lights transform a normal house into a magical castle.  The children's anticipation is electric! 

Joy and laughter dominate our TV screens.  Polished white smiles coax us to spend more than we should as we scramble to find the perfect gift for each name on our list.  Others show beautiful people dressed in stunning outfits attending lavish parties.  This is what we strive for . . .    

Everything appears perfect!

This is what we see and are made to believe.  But for many, these images are far out of reach and simply crumble at their feet.

Holidays can trigger memories to slip to the surface when least expected.  We each walk our separate path in life, which leaves indeliable footprints from the past.  Many we cherish and share with family and friends.  Yet there are others we'd like to forget.  Certain holidays can bring back strong feelings, depending on the path we've traveled.

Right now, you can probably recall your happiest holiday ever.  But also, maybe another you wish you could forget . . . like an elephant standing in the corner.

For me, I desire to dwell on happy, simpler times, shared mostly with my children.  Their innocence and goodness gave my life meaning when times were difficult . . . .

"Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way."          -  Douglas Pagels

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, shows the best of times and the worst of times for one ordinary couple. The mystery of falling in love, the clumsiness of courtship, and the struggles of a new family trying to make it work. Gradually, moments of simple joy entangled with the trials and tribulations of PTSD, become normal. 

And there were holidays . . . like the one I share below, a simple and quiet time . . . a happy memory.

December 14, 1974   

                                                                                              

     It was eleven days before Christmas and we were off to buy a tree.  The children chased each other down the sidewalk before piling into the back of Lorne’s car, each clamoring for a seat by the window.  Their carefree giggles warmed the chilly afternoon air.  On the surface we looked like any ordinary family . . . too bad it wasn’t true. 

          

     “Okay kids,” Lorne shouted across the lot.  He struggled to free another tree from the huge compressed pile at his feet.  Then one broke loose; he vigorously pounded the trunk on the ground, releasing the branches.

     “Run back, and tell me if the trunk’s straight,” he called, surveying the tree up close.          

     Cory ran over to me, his pale hair flying, his cheeks flush.  “Mom, Mom, come look,” he said, tugging me by the hand.  “Can we get this one?  It’s a real good tree.” 

     His innocent wonder was like food for my soul. 

     Later that evening, Lorne sat quietly watching the children rummage through the dusty old boxes I had dragged down from the attic.  Each year they helped me trim the tree; it was our tradition.  They would hunt for treasured ornaments stored in boxes wrapped in tissue paper, calico stars and hand painted angels they had made in kindergarten; stained glass ornaments embellished with their names, made by their Aunt Karen, my sweet sister.   

     Once the last ornament was hung on the tree and baby Jesus was safe in the manger, I turned off the lights, signaling Scott to plug in the tree.  It sprang to life, fat and robust, dancing in lights.  Draped in gold garlands and layered with shiny red balls, tiny gold flutes and red velvet bows, the tree resembled a Norman Rockwell painting. 

     “Okay kids, its way past your bedtime,” I announced standing up.  “It will still be here in the morning.”

     I left Lorne staring into the twinkling tree lights while I put Tiffy to bed.

          

     “Mommy, when is Santa coming?” she asked, crawling under her covers.

     "In eleven days,” I replied, tucking in her blankets.  I leaned down, tweaked her nose and gave her a kiss.  “He will be here before you know it.”

     I knew the boys no longer believed but I hoped to hide it from her as long as possible.  When the boys brought up the subject trying to corner me, I simply said, “Santa doesn’t bring presents to children who don’t believe in him.” And for the time being, that worked.    

     Once the boys settled down, I kissed them goodnight and headed downstairs.  Glancing over the banister, I noticed Lorne was still fixated on the tree. 

  

     "A penny for your thoughts,” I said, sitting next to him. 
  

     Lorne turned, then reached out and took my hand.  A strange look covered his face . . .

Lesson Learned . . . my two cents

 “Affliction is often that thing which prepares an ordinary person for some sort of an extraordinary destiny.”
- C.S. Lewis

Traditional Publisher or Self-Publish? . . . My Decision and An Excerpt

For months, I've been sitting on a fence, grappling with indecision.  Do I continue to query Agents, or break the chains of Traditional Publishing and embrace the New World and Self-Publish? 

I'm down off the fence . . . my decision has been made!  Diary of a Vet's Wife, subtitled Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, will be self-published due to the heartfelt encouragement and confidence from friends and followers who are waiting for this book.  And I am most grateful!

These were the main deciding factors . . .:

1. I've spent nearly a year querying agents with no success.  Even if I was picked up tomorrow, it could potentially be another 18 months to 2 years before the book release date.
2. Most agents now ask for a Marketing Plan submitted with your Book Proposal, including the action items you plan to implement yourself.  It used to be a traditional publisher would solely market an author's book.  
3. Agents and publishers take substantial profits, leaving the author with only a pittance for their years, and sometimes decades, of dedication in solitary confinement. (Plus now market their own book).
4. Early on, I was advised not to include excerpts from the book on my blog. This, I was told, could lead to a possible rejection by a publisher. Can't they see this is a marketing tool to gain interest?

When your profit per book (after all expenses) is three, four, five, or more times what you could make with a conventional publisher, you can generate a nice income stream with much lower sales numbers.             - Peter Bowerman

Countless books have been written on Self-Publishing and Marketing, many occupy space on my desk and the floor surrounding my feet. Way too much information to absorb, but I'm wading through it.  Truthfully, once I discovered this avenue, I couldn't set it aside.  I continued to query agents, while uncovering this brave new world. The more I read, the more sense it made.

But now where do I begin? What do I do first?

Success as a self-publisher is far more a function of a process than an aptitude.   - Peter Bowerman

Once again, I never planned to be a writer, and everything I'm doing is from the view point of a novice. I'm as green as a Spring pea. If you're trained in this field of expertise, please forgive my simplicity. I know there are many others like me who need to experience these steps . . .

1. Establish a Reader Base - The first lesson I learned in market research was the necessity to reach readers BEFORE your book is published, whether traditionally or self-published. This was the reason I started my blog.  Each week I also email my post to friends and family in my Outlook address book. Then there's Facebook, Twitter, etc . . . which I still must tackle.  
2. Editing - A writer must scrutinize their work with the eye of a detective. Too many writers, it appears, still submit manuscripts with misspelled words and grammarical errors. It's always best to have someone trained in this area to edit your writing.  Personally, my writing teacher was the first to do a light edit, a classmate did a second edit.  She then recommended one final edit with a professional before submission.  I hired a free-lance editor, Kay Thompson Lee, who is currently three-quarters through my manuscript smoothing any rough edges along the way.   
3. Your Cover - The most important part of your book! Covers sell books! Many buying decisions are made based solely on covers. Why do so many authors stop short of the finish line? Take the time and invest the money to create a cover that would have an impartial observer be totally unaware that it's a self-published effort. A cover so good that when they do find out it's self-published, they're amazed. - Peter Bowerman, The Well-Fed Self-Publisher

I finally feel like I've stepped into a clearing on My Uncharted Journey into Publishing My First Book. I can take a deep breath now that I know my next major step is my book cover. This requires a graphic designer. Maybe a college student at California State University Northridge, which is located nearby.  A creative type bubbling with fresh ideas, who can deal with me and my artistic preferences at a lower pay scale, knowing their name will be carved in my book like stone with my eternal gratitude.  Wish me luck . . .

To be honest, I literally still have no idea what I want on this cover.  But I'm open to suggestions . . . Anyone?

An Excerpt . . . from Chapter 4

     . . . Grant rang the doorbell. 
     Moments later, Jackie flung open the screen door.  "I'm so happy y'all could make it," she said, hugging us tightly.
     Jackie was in her early fifties, slim and attractive, with cropped platinum blond hair that framed huge Bette Davis eyes.  Dressed in a simple sundress, she looked fresh as a new day.
     "Happy Birthday," I said, kissing her cheek.  "I hope you like these."  I handed her a small gift containing a pair of sable paintbrushes.
     "Happy Birthday," Grant echoed.  Taking her wrist, he clicked his heels, bowed and kissed the back of her hand, then produced a bottle of red wine from behind his back.
     "Grant, you are so gallant," Jackie giggled.
     We followed her down a long narrow hallway to the back of the house.  Oil painting of subtle nudes and vivid flowers lined the dimly lit walls, casting the illusion of some archaic art gallery.  The small three-bedroom house was old and unassuming, but the natural lighting in the den was an artist's dream.
     Muffled voices drifted out into the hallway over the grumbling protests of an ancient air conditioner.  Stepping into the den, Jackie introduced us to the small group already gathered, then hurried back to the kitchen for more appetizers.
     I settled into a cozy blue chair opposite the doorway, setting my purse on the floor.
     Grant tapped me on the shoulder, "Scotch?"
     I nodded, "Please."
     He strolled off to the kitchen and returned with a tall drink with lots of ice.  He took a seat across the room at an old upright piano against the wall.  Sitting tall, he closed his eyes, dissolving into his own rendition of Lullaby of Bird Land.
     As I sipped my drink I looked around the room feeling lost and out of place.  Stepping back into the world of singles was definitely a shock.  So much had changed.  Women were liberated, fighting for equal rights, a cause I supported but one in which I had little experience.
     The doorbell rang.  Jackie hurried down the hall to answer it.  In the distance I heard the resounding echo of cowboy boots striking the hardwood floor.  Jackie emerged in the doorway, her cheeks flushed.  I peered over the rim of my glass, catching my first glimpse of the new arrival . . .

Lesson learned . . . or my two cents

 Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.                     - Elizabeth Barrett Browning 
             

The #1 Question: Who is Your Audience? . . . Plus an Excerpt

War has gone on since the beginning of man's creation.  And will continue until the end of time.  This necessary evil brings death and pain not only to its victims, but also to the warriors and their loved ones covering our small planet.  It's not the way we'd like it to be . . . it is the way it is.

Diary of a Vet's Wife, subtitled Living and living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a 96,000 word memoir covering an eighteen year period in the author's life and reads like a novel.  It took sixteen years to write and is the first book to show the day to day struggles of an ordinary family living with the chaos of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; unaware the author will develop this same disorder by association.

The number one question . . . who is my audience?

To think like a marketer is a common sense process that takes place over time.  -Jacqueline Deval

Did you know that it's not unusual for a traditional publishing house to take 18 to 24 months from the time the project is signed on until the finished books are in hand?  They're in the driver's seat, yet they can't put all their chips down on one book like a self-publisher can . . . they're just trying to make a living.

As a self-publisher, you control the timetable and make things happen when you say . . .

No matter what kind of book you have, its success depends on two things:  It must tell a good story, and you must find an audience for it.

Most books fail in the marketplace because nobody ever heard of them.  Only about 1/3 of new titles sell more than 100 copies.

Yet, an author today can build an audience solely through the community voice without leaving their own backyard.  Internet social networking has given authors their most powerful tool since the invention of paper. Word of mouth is the only thing that can make a book really successful.  Online communities allow authors to bond with readers intimately, inspiring deep loyalty.

There is no such thing as overnight success. It might require a year or more of steady work to see appreciable results.

Self-published authors who own the ISBN and online rights for their book can promote it however they please. Trade-published authors must confer with their publishers marketing department for approval.

Sales is nothing more than matching your product with a prospective buyer's needs and desire.  Early on those prospective buyers are wholesalers, distributors, and bookstores. They want to know you'll be an integral part of the promotion process . . . making sure those books aren't hanging around long.

Next are potential reviewers.  You're selling them on the subject of your book and why readers would care.

Final audience is book buyers, whose needs and desires can be met with your book.

Figure out what sets your book apart in the marketplace and drive that difference home - early and often.

Your #1 job is to Build the Demand for Your Book.  Zero in on the key influencers for your target audiences and focus on taking massive action.

Who would be the most likely readers of your book?  To whom would your subject be especially appealing?

Why not put this action item on your to-do-list today?  Start an ongoing list of potential readers that will be there ready and waiting.  Brainstorm!  Give your mind the freedom to wander outside of the box, and write down any ideas that float to the surface.  Never know when something surprising will appear . . .

Business-building is NOT immodesty.  Drawing attention to yourself when you have a good, high-quality contribution to make to the book marketplace, that's why you wrote the book in the first place.  You're an author with a book the world needs to hear about, and you have every right to tell your story.  - Peter Bowerman

I'm posing this question because I'm guilty as charged of being so busy I haven't focused in on this most important step myself . . .  

(Also see:  Marketing in an Electronic World . . . My First Steps - June 26, 2011 and The Marketing Medusa . . . Don't Let It Overwhelm You! - July 28, 2011)
 
Excerpt from Chapter Eleven . . . Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

     Toxic fumes burned the inside of my nose as we merged onto Highway 10, heading out into the country away from the snarl of city traffic.  Soon Lorne turned onto a two-lane road and opened her up.  I hung on tight.  The narrow strip of asphalt dipped and twisted without warning, snaking through the rolling fields while a broken white line blurred beneath us.  Chilling wind beat against my arms, tugging at my hair, pulling strands free to whip my face.  The air smelled fresh and clean.

     I clung to Lorne, my body pressed into his, feeling his warmth penetrating my tee shirt.  He felt good in my arms like he belonged there.  I held on tight, leaning with him on every curve, my eyes squeezed shut.  Brown and white patterned cows that munched on meadow grass lifted their heads to watch the bike roar by.  Intoxicated with a feeling of freedom, I rode the back of the wind aimed at some unknown planet.

Lessons Learned . . . My Two Cents

     I was headed for New Zealand, standing in line at the airport waiting to go through inspection, when the young woman in front of me turned and said, "You have such beautiful skin!"  I was flattered.  Then I told her my secret . . . "I use apple cider vinegar to remove my makeup at night (not mascara)."  She seemed surprised.

     This weekend at church, another woman made the same comment.  I gave her the same reply.  The next day when I saw her, she said with a smile, "I used apple cider vinegar this morning."  It was then I realized I should share my secret with all of you . . .

     I've used Apple Cider Vinegar on a cotton ball to cleanse my face at night for about 4-5 years.  I read it someplace, tried it and loved what it did for my skin . . . and it's inexpensive.  It acts as an exfoliant, tightens pores, and balances the PH factor in your skin to alkaline.  If your skin gets a bit dry until it gets use to it, switch to Witch Hazel for a few days.  I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised as I was . . .

Let me know how you like it . . .