PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife and Michelle Obama

My last post, July 4, 2013, showed me waiting for a postal confirmation that Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder had reached THE WHITE HOUSE.  After that the bottom fell out . . .

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.    ~ Anais Nin

The life of a computer is not infinite.  REALITY hit when I could no longer type in my BLOG!  Disbelief turned to despair.  Most know I'm a techno-neophyte, yet NO ONE could fix it!  It was like losing my best friend.  I was heartsick.

Three days later, I flew to OHIO to attend our annual family reunion.  I returned to California the end of August with one mission seared into the gray matter between my pierced ears - I MUST find a new BEST FRIEND!  And FAST. 

But there were way too many CHOICES! 

One final consultation with Geek Squad and I was primed to make a decision ... which still HAUNTS me!  My new HP computer and best friend? arrived with WINDOWS 8 and its cheeky ATTITUDE.  Not to mention the TEMPERAMENT of a multi-tasking ten year old on a sugar high, taking me down gopher holes with no way back.  Navigating a cornfield maze with a box of matches would be simpler. 

PATIENCE.  I've been told I must remember to breathe . . . 

This too shall pass, if I don't heave the darn thing off a bridge first.  My love and concern for our military far outweighs the learning curve I must conquer to be able to ENLIGHTEN the world to my PASSION . . . Public Awareness of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Sometimes when you think you are done, it is just the edge of beginning. Probably that's why we decide we're done. It's getting too scary. We are touching down onto something real. It is beyond the point when you think you are done that often something strong comes out.      

                                                           ~ Natalie Goldberg

 

My last post on July 4, 2013 showed me waiting for a confirmation that my book, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder had reached The White House.  This was confirmed July 8th, the same day I left for Ohio.  The small green postcard was stamped "THE WHITE HOUSE."  Floating on a cloud, I headed for the airport. 

 

During my visit, my friendly mail collector informed me that I had received a large brown envelope from the WHITE HOUSE.  Wow, that was fast!  I asked for it to be held until I returned.  Everyone thought I was deranged for waiting.  But I like SURPRISES.  It was probably a photograph of the First Lady, but I decided to bathe in the mystery and let my imagination run wild with outrageous possibilities.  That's me. 

 

As soon as my luggage was loaded into the house, I made a dash for my mail. Bags of it!  A plethora of junk mail!  I found the big brown envelope from the WHITE HOUSE, stamped FIRST CLASS, DO NOT BEND.  It felt stiff as my trembling letter opener sliced along the top.  Inside a piece of cardboard protected a typewritten letter on formal 6 x 9 crème-colored stationary embossed with the Presidential Seal addressed to me.  It began, "Dear Nancy:"  Needless to say, I was THRILLED.  And even more special, it was signed by Michelle Obama herself.  The pen she used bled through to the other side at three different points.  

 

 
I may not agree with all the battles that are taking place in Washington DC at this time, but I was honored that our First Lady took time to acknowledge my book, and the plight our military has been dealing with for decades.
 

Definition of a veteran:  A veteran - whether active duty, retired, national guard or reserve - is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America" for an amount of "up to and including my life."       ~ Author unknown

 

 

Photo by Scott King / gryht on flickr.

 

MAN'S BEST FRIEND is lending a helping paw to aid military personnel and veterans suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 

 

The number of veterans being diagnosed with PTSD continues to grow. It wasn't until after the Vietnam War in the '60s and '70s that PTSD was even recognized as an actual psychiatric syndrome by the Veterans Administration. 

 

Nationwide from 2002 through 2012 more than 256,000 veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan have been treated for PTSD.  And the numbers continue to climb as time away from the war zone passes.          by Mark Leland - Fox 11

 

I recently read this interview online describing one veteran's experience with his SERVICE DOG ... 

 

Steve, a US Army veteran, says his dog, Whiskey, provides him with a sense of much needed comfort and security.  And that Whiskey saved his life.

 

"I was suicidal every single day.  I couldn't get out of the house.  I was in such deep depression.  The simplest tasks were very difficult for me but two days into the canine program a light came on and changed my life.  Whiskey provides comfort and security whenever I have a panic attack.  I'll call her up on my lap and start petting her.  She brings my blood pressure down and brings me back down to reality.  If I have a flashback and things of that nature, she's right there nudging me.  "Hey, it's okay, dad."  Whiskey's right there."

 

When you hear and read about what's happening throughout the country with veterans returning from war, our warriors dealing with this disabling disorder, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, do you ever think ... "But what can I do to help?"

 

Most know I chose PETS FOR VETS to donate a portion of the proceeds from my book.  This national organization helps heal the emotional wounds of military veterans by pairing them with shelter dogs.  Their selfless dedication in this field shows compassion and understanding to this issue that has been minimized far too long.  Their approach gives veterans a way to defuse their PTSD without the use of drugs, and gives a shelter dog a loving home and purpose. 

 

Know that THERE IS A WAY each one of us can help these warriors who bravely fought for what they were asked to do.  Every donation helps.  Let your heart be your guide.  We owe them more than we could ever REPAY.

 

Who is eligible for a Pets for Vets companion animal?  Please see information and Pets for Vets Veterans Application located on their website at pets-for-vets.com for more details. 

 

They carried comrades, they carried guns, and they carried letters from home.  Their dog tags carried their name and rank.  Would they wear them home, or would they be handed to a family member?  None knew the answer, yet they served our country, the United States of America, with their very heart and soul.   

 

God Bless America and all her brave WARRIORS.

 

Do you know someone who is dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

 

(Please read post from April 2013 for more detailed information).

  



PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife goes to The White House

The purpose of life is not to be happy.  It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you lived and you lived well.            Ralph Waldo Emerson 

   Today, July 4, 2013 is the perfect day to be waiting for a USPS confirmation showing Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has arrived at the WHITE HOUSE!

This surprising challenge began May 18th with an email from Pets for Vets. "... Attended a GI Film Festival in Washington DC last month, where a documentary on Pets for Vets by a USC student was one of 50 films shown out of 1000 submitted. Several other films dealt with PTSD. Those directors and actors agreed more must be done to RAISE AWARENESS and find OUT-OF-THE-BOX solutions for this devastating disorder.  Pets for Vets was commended for a solution without relying on drugs."

She noted: "Although we haven't talked with any veterans who have read your book yet, those who know you wrote it are thankful and appreciative. They have all commented that most people have no understanding of PTSD and the wide variety of POTENTIAL TRIGGERS. They want awareness of the issue raised and think books like yours are an important step in that direction."

Attached was a clipping from an Indiana newspaper entitled: "Legion's leader meets with Obama.  She pointed out: "Since our National Commander of the American Legion meets with President Obama, he definitely needs a copy of your book."

The wheels began to turn.  My one chance-in-a-LIFETIME!  I couldn't let it slip through my fingers.

By June 20th, my RESEARCH was complete. My letter introducing Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and MISSION was polished.  With a prayer on my lips, I pressed SEND.

The next morning I received this reply: "I have spoken to the Commander. You may send your book to him at the following address .... He suggested  you also send one to Mrs. Obama ..." giving her address.  Then she went on with words of encouragement and offered other suggestions to further my MISSION!

Delight kindled my HAPPY DANCE that seemed to last for hours!

Next step, compose a letter to Mrs. Obama.  It was intimidating, but I refused let fear control the outcome. By Friday, June 28th, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was in the hands of our United States Postal Service Priority Mail and on its way to Washington DC.

Now I wait ... it's still hard to believe!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, AMERICA!

The first Independence Day celebration took place in Philadelphia on July 8, 1776.  This was the day that the Declaration of Independence was first read in public after people were summoned by the ringing of the LIBERTY BELL ... 237 years ago.
 

Our COUNTRY may be young but our history shows dedication to the freedom of all mankind.  America will always be the land of the free because it is the home of the brave.  We're proud of our man and women of the United States Armed Forces, whose diligence and courage make freedom possible today and for the future.

This HOLIDAY is celebrated with family gatherings where children throw Frisbees and men fire up grills for juicy hamburgers and hotdogs.  Women arrange a spread of homemade favorites and the flies die of happiness.

Once the sun melts into darkness, the magic begins.  Fireworks of every shape, size and color sizzle and dance across the night sky in a breathtaking ballet of lights.  And NOISE!

Last night I read an article, PTSD TRIGGERS - FIREWORKS ALERT, that I'm compelled to SHARE.

A veteran's wife, Michele Smith, pleaded with people to refrain from setting off fireworks in neighborhoods where the explosive sounds can cause major difficulties for our veterans.  She explained, "Last year's FOUR days in a row of explosions in their neighborhood started her husband on a PTSD downhill spiral that landed him in an inpatient lockdown facility a few days later."

She shared what her husband was able to tell her on that first night of fireworks last year.  "I can tell myself all night long those explosions out there are not a danger to us and that I'm NOT in Iraq.  INTELLIGENTLY, I understand.  But that doesn't stop the awful FEELING inside me that IF I don't go out there and try to do something about it, people ARE going to die!" 

She felt it would help if the general public was better informed how severely this affects many veterans, so that they may choose different options for celebrating their 4th.

I agree with Michele and hope people will think twice before shooting fireworks within our neighborhoods, knowing they will be helping our heroes live a more peaceful life after war.  And thank you for caring.

Lesson learned . . . my two cents

Last night I watched my latest Netflix, Memorial Day - instead of finishing my blog.  It showed a different viewpoint and I was deeply moved and inspired.  All who care about our veterans will benefit from this heartfelt true story.

Stories live forever but only if you tell them.  ~ Memorial Day (2012)

"Diary of a Vet's Wife" reveals PTSD / Marketing / Reviewers

On December 5, 2012, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, left the protection of my heart and stepped boldly out into the world. I am the woman who lived this life, but I know there are thousands throughout the world who know the love, heartbreak and fear I share on the pages of my memoir.     

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without words, and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson 

I flew to AUSTRALIA three days after my book came out where I wandered the crusty shores of this beautiful country. A shoreline dappled with porous coves, vanishing rock pools and jagged slabs of rock that only nature could construct. Its powerful dashing crashing surf could seduce any CALIFORNIA girl with a wink. A dream-like Christmas holiday with my daughter and her family, a rare and loving gift.

I had planned to detail the breathtaking landscape, the gentleness of its people and a petting zoo hopping with baby KANGAROOS. Tales of its hungry wind and calf-burning hills, an enchanted white butterfly, and my first taste of PAVLOVA drenched in PASSIONFRUIT. 

But when I turned on my computer, MSNBC opened with a major headline: The enemy within: Soldier suicides outpaced combat deaths in 2012!  Reality yanked me back by the hair.

Our brave men and women who go where they're told to fight the battles they're handed are giving up! They are OUR NATIONS BACKBONE and we MUST stand beside them!

Sometimes reality is too complex. Stories give it form.   - Jean Luc Godard

The following week another MSNBC article, "Like an airborne disease," was startling. It told of the increase in family members taking their own lives. I immediately emailed the NBC news correspondent who wrote the article to briefly relate my own dance with the demons, my book and my passion to reach others with HOPE. He replied in NINE MINUTES! I was shocked! 

Other articles he wrote showed the COMPASSION he shares for our warriors and their families. He also sent me the names of two top RESOURCES to start my quest, plus the following excerpt from his email:

Sorry to say, I don't think we would do anything specifically on your book. But when we revisit this topic - whether it would be about PTSD or suicide - I can use you as a source and include the title of your book. I have a couple of upcoming stories where your thoughts and experiences may fit in well. 

A note to all writers: Go with your INSTINCT! Turn over every rock on your path because you never know what treasure lies beneath - when it comes to MARKETING your work.

 The next phase of my journey - MARKETING 911 . . .

On June 26, 2011, I posted a blog entitled Marketing in an Electronic World . . . My First Steps.

• create a blog
• construct a MARKETING PLAN
• join a Writers Group Online

On July 28, 2011, I posted, The Marketing Medusa . . . Don't Let it Overwhelm You!

• qualities needed to successfully market your book
• locating your target audience and others for your work

Reference above posts . . .  

Since my return from Australia, the main focus has been Reviews/Reviewers. I had ordered 25 books before I left. They were waiting like happy puppies. The  more you order the better the discount. The first copies are being sent to friends and family I ACKNOWLEDGE in my memoir. Pets for Vets was also on that list. A few organizations are still waiting for their copies. If only there were more hours in a day.  

Self-publishers have the INTERNET at their fingertips like a giant fortune teller with insomnia, its catacombs pulsating with answers as it waits for a question to be asked.

Multiple lists of Reviewers are available on the internet. Research to highlight those who read your genre and  verify they are accepting new books. ALWAYS contact a reviewer before you send your book. It could take 3-6 months to be reviewed. 

I'd like to invite any reviewer or book club interested in my memoir to contact me at diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com where we can discuss your request. This email address is on the back of my book for any reader or organization wanting to talk or share.

"Determine your "official publication date" (OPD) and make sure it's 90-120+ days after your "bound book date" (BBD), the date you have printed books in your hands. Use this period to get your book into the hands of key industry reviewers and to start building your book buzz.

For NICHE BOOKS - Keep beefing up your "final book" review copy list by hunting up websites that deal with your subject Area. Shoot for initial list of 200-300 and grow from there. Create a system for keeping track of your contacts."
                                                                      - Well-Fed Self-Publisher by Peter Bowerman

I'm overwhelmed by the reviews coming in. All seem touched with new insight as to what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder really is. Their kind words and encouragement continue to push me beyond my comfort zone. I can never thank you enough, for myself and all the others, who have met the demons I encountered and conquered!   

Food for thought . . . my two cents

I would greatly appreciate your reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It need not be long, but may coax someone else dealing with this issue to reach out for comfort in knowing they're not alone. My heartfelt thanks, if you're so led.   

As one reader wrote: 

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a story the American public may not want, but needs to hear. Especially now that there is a promised date to the Afghanistan presence of U.S. and troops of other nations, which will lead to large numbers of newly returned men and women who have experienced this certain form of hell.                                   Review by Jack Smith, writer and author

Self-Publishing / PTSD - A Passage of Passion

Lately, I feel like a puppet whose strings are tangled, trapping my arms behind my back and my feet up over my head.  My thoughts are scattered like my many projects.  Focus comes in spurts and splatters with so many loose ends eager to be tied.  This Gemini sure wishes the other me would get busy and do her share.

Then I remember - I'm on a journey - a PASSAGE, much like life itself, where we never know what to expect.  A passage of passion isn't always neat and tidy.

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. 
          ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last few months have been tumultuous.  My eyes crisscrossed and my brain scrambled with the plethora of self-publishers available online.  Far behind schedule I had to make a decision . . . flipping a coin entered my mind more than once!

July 4th seems to be approaching at the speed of light!

I did a comparison of the top POD (print-on-demand) companies and their services - amenities that were included / add-ons / other options / and cost involved.  The scenario's went every-which-way.  I weighed my alternatives like labor pains until I reached a DECISION . . .

This company's goal is to get a quality book quickly into the market (usually in a month or less) with the lowest out-of-pocket cost to you, greatly increasing the time it takes to make back your investment.  The majority of their revenue comes from public book sales, not service fees, which is why they request a writer to submit their manuscript for APPROVAL prior to acceptance.  Their acceptance rate is less than fifty percent. 

To be honest, this was one of the reasons I chose this company, and I'm pleased to say my manuscript was accepted.  Now I must wade through their multi-paged contract, but this should be a walk in the park compared to the last 30 days. 

"In war, there are no unwounded soldiers." -Jose Narosky

Combat and PTSD go hand in hand.  One is usually enmeshed with the other.  Yet I often wonder about those who do not suffer PTSD after combat.  Who are these survivors and why them?  What makes them different?  What unique attribute do they possess that shields them from the horror of war?  What is their common thread?

One day, I plan to research this phenomenon.  

My last post announced my decision to donate a portion of the proceeds from my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife to Pets for Vets, a group pairing veterans suffering with PTSD and rescued dogs.  As a courtesy, I sent them an email confirming my decision.  Their response was electric!  I was welcomed with open arms.

On March 23rd, they posted my blog on their Facebook and by the feedback, I knew I found my audience - others who know what it's like to live with PTSD.  Pets for Vets has offered to put my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, on their website when the book is released - I'm aiming for July 4th, 2012.

Pets for Vets reaction far exceeded anything I ever imagined.  I'm humbled by this experience.  Please check them out at www.facebook.com/petsforvetsinc and see what a unique service they offer our veterans.

"According to the thread on Zoetrope, which came from an article in the Guardian, it cost one author $1500 to quote two lines from a Bob Marley song in his novel. The concept of fair use doesn't apply to lyrics."  

                             - Dawn Copeman, Writing-World.com

The final chapter of my memoir contains song lyrics that are crucial to the end of my story.  It was written exactly as it happened - my proof is safely tucked away in the back of a drawer, along with my husband's bronze stars.

Last week, I started the copyright search pertaining to these song lyrics.  My publisher advised that such permission could cost "hundreds to thousands of dollars" - which I do not have.  My plan was to beg on bended knee, if necessary, not knowing if these fees are iron clad - or flexible. 

I contacted ASCAP via email because the song in question did not appear on their database.  A reply sat in my email the next morning with names, the Work ID and the ISWC.  But it lacked an email address. 

I called the first name on the list in New York city at the phone number provided.  After explaining my request, the male person on the line supplied a name and an email address.  That afternoon, I emailed them my Copyright Permission Letter along with the last 3 pages of my manuscript.  Within minutes, it came back undeliverable.  I tried 3 different times.  NO LUCK!

The next morning, I called and reached the same person.  He asked what addresses I used. "Oh, those are the wrong addresses."  I knew that.  Then he gave me with another . . . it went through.

Research online stated it could take anywhere from 4 weeks to 3 months to receive a reply.  Start early!  This was a main concern . . .   

Two days later, a formal "quote proposal" for the lyrics requested, appeared in my email.  I was ECSTATIC!  It's good for 30 days.  The pricing didn't SEEM outrageous, however, it's written in legal terminology.  I don't have a literary lawyer, so I sent an email to my new publisher, asking if she would be willing to look it over.  Hopefully, I hear back on Monday.

Lessons learned . . . my two cents

A manuscript should be professionally edited prior to submission to "any publisher," verifying the writers confidence in their own work.  That is, unless the writer is qualified to edit.

PTSD / Can One Woman and Her Book Make a Difference?

We can do no great things, only small things with great love. 
               ~Mother Teresa

During the 16 years I spent writing my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, one question kept tumbling around in my mind like marbles in a jar - WHAT can I do to help veteran's suffering with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?  I felt a bond with each of them.  I knew their suffering.

Help is such a tiny word when related to such a BIG issue.  Webster's New World Dictionary used 31 lines to describe this little word - boiled down - "to make things easier."  PTSD is very REAL!  I know how  it feels and what it does to a marriage and family, my heart carries the scars.

I am only one WOMAN, who has spent half-her-life in the shadow of PTSD - either living with my husband's disorder, or writing about living with his PTSD.  I never knew at the time that I had developed PTSD by association.  Few know the heartbreak and terror, until they have lived with someone caught in the strangle-hold of this illness.  To be in the trenches with a ticking time bomb for what seemed like an eternity.  

In sharing my story, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic, I hope to AWAKEN the world to the devastating aftermath of war living among us, and comfort those trapped in the trenches, knowing they are not alone.

But how can my memoir help disarm a veteran's horror buried deep within his MEMORY before it explodes?  How can I help defuse and neutralize it?  How?

I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.            ~Edward Everett Hale

One day, I had an AHA moment . . . and I knew what I must do!

My book is the only means I have of reaching other families, and our world, living with this nightmare.  I have no idea how many lives will be TOUCHED by my story, but I knew I wanted to donate a portion of each book sold to help veteran's caught on this crazy merry-go-round called PTSD.

I fervently began a search on the internet.  I was familiar with Wounded Warriors, who provide services to severely injured veterans during the time between active duty and transition to civilian life.  Large corporations donate heavily to large, well-established groups.
 
My quest was to find a GROUP that deals specifically with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.  ~Norman B. Rice

One afternoon, I Skyped my sister in Ohio to chat.  It was then she told me she had watched a TV program the night before about veteran's with PTSD being rehabilitated using RESCUED dogs. 

"I wrote the name down, so I wouldn't forget to tell you," she said, holding a piece of paper up to the eye of her webcam. 

Here was the organization I had been looking for.  It was PERFECT - and from my sister! xo

"Pets for Vets" - Helping Our Brave Veterans Heal with a little help from Man's Best Friend

Their goal is to help heal the emotional wounds of military veterans by pairing them with a shelter dog who is specially selected to match his or her personality.  Professional animal trainers rehabilitate the dogs and teach them good manners to fit into the veteran's lifestyle.  Training can also include desensitization to wheel chairs or crutches as well as recognizing panic or anxiety disorder behaviors.

It's a win-win relationship . . .

Needy shelter dogs get a second chance at life while giving our returning soldiers a second chance at health and happiness.  The bonds of friendship formed between man and animal have the power to ease the suffering of our troops when they return from overseas . . .

Pets for Vets is a concrete way to thank U.S. Military Veterans for their service . . .

• Featured on NPR, CBS2 and CNN
• Donations are tax deductible to the fullest extent allowed by law
• Serving Veterans in Southern California, Washington State, Florida and Michigan
• With each veteran-dog match they provide all the necessary equipment for them to start their new life together

Currently, they're only in four states.  My VISION is to help donate enough so that Pets for Vets can gradually expand into every state in the nation, then into every city in that state.  Our veterans come from every corner of our country - I'd like to reach them all.  I can dream, can't I?

Please check Pets for Vets online, if you have any questions.  You may feel drawn to contribute a single donation dedicated to a veteran in your own life.

My tentative book release date is still set for July 4th, 2012, which gives me less than 4 months to get everything in place.  At this moment that seems impossible . . . but I'm not giving up.

Lessons learned . . . My two cents

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.                                           ~William Penn