PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Be Tenacious

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, of which have the potential to turn a life around.   ~ Leo Buscaglia

Yesterday I was stuck in traffic on the way to work. I was running late but it was my own fault. There always seems to be one more thing calling my name before I leave the house. Cars were bumper to bumper in front of me and it took the light forever to change. 

When the traffic finally started to move I noticed a silver utility box on the sidewalk scrawled with graffiti ... or so I thought.

As I pulled up next to it, I saw what it said ... it put a smile on my face!

TODAY DO A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS

I planned to take a picture to share on my blog on the way home, but later when I drove by, it appeared the utility company had covered the smile provoking words with silver paint. 

It made me sad because it could have brightened so many more lives as it had mine ...

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, my memoir, has become my mission to reach as many families as possible dealing with the unpredictable chaos this malady plants in the middle of our dreams. I've been there and I know the helplessness that leaves you weak and the endless tears that warm your cheeks at night.

My heartfelt desire is to give you HOPE in the only way I know how ... by sharing my journey and what I've learned through SURVIVAL. It's not a quick fix, but it is POSSIBLE. All I ask is that you read what has happened to me with an open heart and mind. Try to savor the words without judgement and feel the healing begin to fill in the holes.
  
Are you living with PTSD?  The road back may look impossible but remember all the people in your life who love you ... including me because I know where you've been and where you are now.

If you've read Diary of a Vet's Wife, you already know what happened to me. The time has come where I need to begin to alternate my viewpoint from our shared pain to the peace and understanding waiting in the wings.

Today I read something that told me it was time to move forward and begin to share the healing process that continues to amaze and embrace me. I believe the words that are touching me so profoundly will also nourish your heart with love and strength. Please promise to give me a chance ...

BE TENACIOUS

Dr. John Maxwell says one day when he was discouraged and tempted to quit, he took out a dictionary and looked up the word "quit." After spending a few minutes considering that option, in a symbolic act of defiance he took out his scissors and cut the word right out of his dictionary. It didn't make his problems go away, but it sure did strengthen his resolve. 

When every avenue looks like a dead end and you feel like you've exhausted every possibility - you haven't. There are always other ways, other options, other opportunities. Even if you don't see them right now, they are there. So don't give up. Former heavy weight champion Jack Dempsey once said, "A champion is one who gets back up when he can't. People who reach their goal keep going when they think they can't. They're tenacious, and as a result they keep moving closer to their goal day by day. Some days they may be moving only a few inches at a time, but they're moving forward. They believe in their God-given destiny, they believe in themselves, and they say so. 

Now, saying you believe in yourself won't guarantee your success, but saying you don't believe in yourself will guarantee your failure. The truth is you're not alone, God is with you. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:29). So be tenacious!

(Taken from: The Word For You Today - August 25, 2014)

My post today is shorter than usual, but this way I will be motivated to write more often on the spur of the moment. Long posts take time to create like a chapter in a book. This approach with be something new for me and I hope it will be met with your favor. 

Better Things Ahead 

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."  C. S. Lewis (2006)

"Diary of a Vet's Wife" reveals PTSD / Marketing / Reviewers

On December 5, 2012, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, left the protection of my heart and stepped boldly out into the world. I am the woman who lived this life, but I know there are thousands throughout the world who know the love, heartbreak and fear I share on the pages of my memoir.     

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without words, and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson 

I flew to AUSTRALIA three days after my book came out where I wandered the crusty shores of this beautiful country. A shoreline dappled with porous coves, vanishing rock pools and jagged slabs of rock that only nature could construct. Its powerful dashing crashing surf could seduce any CALIFORNIA girl with a wink. A dream-like Christmas holiday with my daughter and her family, a rare and loving gift.

I had planned to detail the breathtaking landscape, the gentleness of its people and a petting zoo hopping with baby KANGAROOS. Tales of its hungry wind and calf-burning hills, an enchanted white butterfly, and my first taste of PAVLOVA drenched in PASSIONFRUIT. 

But when I turned on my computer, MSNBC opened with a major headline: The enemy within: Soldier suicides outpaced combat deaths in 2012!  Reality yanked me back by the hair.

Our brave men and women who go where they're told to fight the battles they're handed are giving up! They are OUR NATIONS BACKBONE and we MUST stand beside them!

Sometimes reality is too complex. Stories give it form.   - Jean Luc Godard

The following week another MSNBC article, "Like an airborne disease," was startling. It told of the increase in family members taking their own lives. I immediately emailed the NBC news correspondent who wrote the article to briefly relate my own dance with the demons, my book and my passion to reach others with HOPE. He replied in NINE MINUTES! I was shocked! 

Other articles he wrote showed the COMPASSION he shares for our warriors and their families. He also sent me the names of two top RESOURCES to start my quest, plus the following excerpt from his email:

Sorry to say, I don't think we would do anything specifically on your book. But when we revisit this topic - whether it would be about PTSD or suicide - I can use you as a source and include the title of your book. I have a couple of upcoming stories where your thoughts and experiences may fit in well. 

A note to all writers: Go with your INSTINCT! Turn over every rock on your path because you never know what treasure lies beneath - when it comes to MARKETING your work.

 The next phase of my journey - MARKETING 911 . . .

On June 26, 2011, I posted a blog entitled Marketing in an Electronic World . . . My First Steps.

• create a blog
• construct a MARKETING PLAN
• join a Writers Group Online

On July 28, 2011, I posted, The Marketing Medusa . . . Don't Let it Overwhelm You!

• qualities needed to successfully market your book
• locating your target audience and others for your work

Reference above posts . . .  

Since my return from Australia, the main focus has been Reviews/Reviewers. I had ordered 25 books before I left. They were waiting like happy puppies. The  more you order the better the discount. The first copies are being sent to friends and family I ACKNOWLEDGE in my memoir. Pets for Vets was also on that list. A few organizations are still waiting for their copies. If only there were more hours in a day.  

Self-publishers have the INTERNET at their fingertips like a giant fortune teller with insomnia, its catacombs pulsating with answers as it waits for a question to be asked.

Multiple lists of Reviewers are available on the internet. Research to highlight those who read your genre and  verify they are accepting new books. ALWAYS contact a reviewer before you send your book. It could take 3-6 months to be reviewed. 

I'd like to invite any reviewer or book club interested in my memoir to contact me at diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com where we can discuss your request. This email address is on the back of my book for any reader or organization wanting to talk or share.

"Determine your "official publication date" (OPD) and make sure it's 90-120+ days after your "bound book date" (BBD), the date you have printed books in your hands. Use this period to get your book into the hands of key industry reviewers and to start building your book buzz.

For NICHE BOOKS - Keep beefing up your "final book" review copy list by hunting up websites that deal with your subject Area. Shoot for initial list of 200-300 and grow from there. Create a system for keeping track of your contacts."
                                                                      - Well-Fed Self-Publisher by Peter Bowerman

I'm overwhelmed by the reviews coming in. All seem touched with new insight as to what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder really is. Their kind words and encouragement continue to push me beyond my comfort zone. I can never thank you enough, for myself and all the others, who have met the demons I encountered and conquered!   

Food for thought . . . my two cents

I would greatly appreciate your reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It need not be long, but may coax someone else dealing with this issue to reach out for comfort in knowing they're not alone. My heartfelt thanks, if you're so led.   

As one reader wrote: 

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a story the American public may not want, but needs to hear. Especially now that there is a promised date to the Afghanistan presence of U.S. and troops of other nations, which will lead to large numbers of newly returned men and women who have experienced this certain form of hell.                                   Review by Jack Smith, writer and author

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife Appeared on My Doorstep!

The first copy of Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sits on my desk at my elbow. My husband's eyes look over at me. What I'm feeling is difficult to put into words, something quite poignant. After all the years and all the tears, my MEMOIR not only has a face, but now it has a physical presence. I hold in my hand a piece of my life that was so powerful I had to put it on paper to keep my heart from shattering. As I fan through the pages I watch my words blur under my thumb. I'm afraid if I blink it will disappear.

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the  hearts of men.
      ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It wasn't until I contacted my self-publisher to approve the galley that I learned there was still more WRITING to be done! More delay!

I was now requested to submit the Book Page Submission Form which included the following:

1. Author bio. Must use third person. Limit 50 words.
2. The total number of physical pages.
3. Search Terms. Specific words and phrases related to the subject of my book. Limit 20 words or phrases.
4. Chapters to Excerpt. They found that offering one or two chapters of the book for free to customers helped improve a books sales.
5. Short Description. Would be displayed on the category page. Limit 10 words. (Ten words? They had to be kidding!)
6. Long Description. It needed to be a description of what the book is about. LIMIT 500 WORDS. (This was going to take some time!)

It wouldn't be half-bad, if that was ALL that I was doing right now . . .

However, I'm also in the middle of getting ready to leave for AUSTRALIA on Saturday, December 8th to spend Christmas with my daughter and her family, returning on the 27th. What a dilemma! Everyone knows I HATE to pack, which I posted last year when I went to New Zealand. I still need to find that professional packer!

Talk about PRESSURE! Not to mention Christmas cards and presents.  It's a special time of year when we're should to be filled with peace and joy. Honestly, I am filled with GREAT JOY and thanksgiving, but where can I find peace with so much still to be done? Probably not until I buckle my seatbelt on Virgin Australia. :)

But there is HAPPY NEWS . . .

The writing requirements have been completed and my BOOK went up for SALE late yesterday afternoon at BookLocker, my self-publisher. The AUTHOR PAGE looks amazing! The book should appear soon on the other online sites (Amazon, B&N, Books-a-Million, etc), but I'll be out of pocket when it happens. The author photo was attached today and I leave for Australia on Saturday. Now this is what I call "CUTTING IT CLOSE!" :)

Attached is the link: http://booklocker.com/books/6576.html. The complete first chapter is available for viewing.

I apologize for writing in such haste, but I wanted to reach you before my flight takes off. I'll still be burning the midnight oil, but I'll definitely be happy to check "WRITE BLOG" off of my list. :)

I wish each of you a wonderful holiday season with friends and loved ones according to the tradition you celebrate. 2013 is but weeks away when we hail in another NEW YEAR. If I had only one wish, it would be that all wars end and that all peoples come together to live as one in peace and love . . .

"Safety and happiness can only come from individuals, classes, and nations being honest and fair and kind to each other."    ~ C.S. Lewis

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Where's the Book!?!

On July 28, 2012, I learned that my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder had slammed into a brick wall, and for a while, I didn't know if my PERFECT COVER was going to survive.  I was crushed . . . but not broken.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.     Gilda Radner

My last post on July 16^th was a SNEAK PEEK at the cover of my memoir, Diary of a Vet’s Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The PERFECT COVER for my story!

A literary high enveloped me as I downloaded my PERFECT COVER to Booklocker, my self-publisher, on July 28th.  My mind wandered as I envisioned unwrapping the brown paper package, which could arrive within two weeks.  After all the tears and all the years, I would finally hold in my hands, the first copy of Diary of a Vet's Wife, otherwise known as the galley.

The next day, I learned my cover had been rejected!!

It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.   Robert W. Service, poet

BookLocker’s email indicated there was no bleed . . . .  

What did that mean? I had no idea, so I looked it up: "A bleed is when a photo or graphic runs beyond the edge of the finished printed page, with the excess trimmed off before the book is bound.  You prepare for a bleed in the document setup before you begin your layout, and in the file preparation for the commercial printer after the design is finished."

I forwarded BookLocker's email to Australia, but they were already on holiday in Hawaii.  And I was leaving for my family reunion in Ohio - for THREE weeks.  What a predicament!

Hence, the parade of delays began . . . .

Once I returned from Ohio, my team in Australia worked diligently to correct the problem.  After another rejection, they apologized with the fact that they were unable to meet all of the printer's specifications.

I contacted BookLocker and asked if their cover designer could correct the bleed.  My next lesson unfolded . . . "like all written material, there’s an automatic copyright on original covers."  BookLocker’s cover designer would only design a NEW COVER!

But I didn't want a new cover!  Was I about to lose my PERFECT COVER?

A tearful pity party brought my sister to my rescue.  She and her husband have published a local newspaper in Ohio since 1995.  She said SHE COULD FIX IT!!  Thank you, Lord.  However, she and her assistant must start from scratch.  By working with the team in Australia, they could duplicate the original cover design, but I'd have to WAIT IN LINE with the newspapers yet to be published.  

“A setback is a setup for a comeback.”  T.D. Jakes 

Sadly, my technical-know-how could swim laps in a match box.  Without going into detail, I learned that "computer advertising" and "newspaper printing" each have their own unique set of specifications.  Never the two shall mix like oil and water.  Period.  

Self-publishing is a little like putting an octopus to bed.   Anne Lamott

I'll skip the details.  As soon as the three editions went to press, my sister, Karen, and her assistant, Amanda, went to work to re-create my PERFECT COVER.  All of the original photos, blurbs, book review, etc., had been sent from Sydney to Ohio, where everyone concurred to duplicate the original cover.  There were a few snags along the way, but all were determined to make it happen.  My sister is amazing!

I held my breath and waited.  Everything was upside-down and I had no idea how to translate this into a blog.  Anyone ever been there?

On October 29th, the re-creation of my PERFECT COVER was downloaded to BookLocker!  They acknowledged receipt!  The next day, I learned that shortly after my cover was sent, Hurricane Sandy hit Ohio, knocking power out for three days.  I feel guilty being happy when so many have had their lives and futures destroyed.  Please forgive me.

Where am I today?

As a writer, who decided to self-publish after a year of querying with no results, I can breathe again.  If I had known the challenges up-front, would I still have proceeded?  I don't know.  But I do know I'm a much stronger and self-confident person because of this journey.

What next? 

I wait for the galley.  And as soon as it arrives, I'm going to Trader Joes and buy bouquets of yellow roses!  Off  in the distance you might hear the sound of fireworks soaring through the heavens, as I compose a blog with the announcement.  I've spent almost two decades preparing for this moment!

My Personal Request ~

If anyone reading my memoir knew my husband, Lorne, in Viet Nam, I'd like to communicate with you.  Does anyone know who took the picture that's on the cover?  I'd be most grateful. . . .   

Please contact me @ diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com.