PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Be Tenacious

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, of which have the potential to turn a life around.   ~ Leo Buscaglia

Yesterday I was stuck in traffic on the way to work. I was running late but it was my own fault. There always seems to be one more thing calling my name before I leave the house. Cars were bumper to bumper in front of me and it took the light forever to change. 

When the traffic finally started to move I noticed a silver utility box on the sidewalk scrawled with graffiti ... or so I thought.

As I pulled up next to it, I saw what it said ... it put a smile on my face!

TODAY DO A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS

I planned to take a picture to share on my blog on the way home, but later when I drove by, it appeared the utility company had covered the smile provoking words with silver paint. 

It made me sad because it could have brightened so many more lives as it had mine ...

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, my memoir, has become my mission to reach as many families as possible dealing with the unpredictable chaos this malady plants in the middle of our dreams. I've been there and I know the helplessness that leaves you weak and the endless tears that warm your cheeks at night.

My heartfelt desire is to give you HOPE in the only way I know how ... by sharing my journey and what I've learned through SURVIVAL. It's not a quick fix, but it is POSSIBLE. All I ask is that you read what has happened to me with an open heart and mind. Try to savor the words without judgement and feel the healing begin to fill in the holes.
  
Are you living with PTSD?  The road back may look impossible but remember all the people in your life who love you ... including me because I know where you've been and where you are now.

If you've read Diary of a Vet's Wife, you already know what happened to me. The time has come where I need to begin to alternate my viewpoint from our shared pain to the peace and understanding waiting in the wings.

Today I read something that told me it was time to move forward and begin to share the healing process that continues to amaze and embrace me. I believe the words that are touching me so profoundly will also nourish your heart with love and strength. Please promise to give me a chance ...

BE TENACIOUS

Dr. John Maxwell says one day when he was discouraged and tempted to quit, he took out a dictionary and looked up the word "quit." After spending a few minutes considering that option, in a symbolic act of defiance he took out his scissors and cut the word right out of his dictionary. It didn't make his problems go away, but it sure did strengthen his resolve. 

When every avenue looks like a dead end and you feel like you've exhausted every possibility - you haven't. There are always other ways, other options, other opportunities. Even if you don't see them right now, they are there. So don't give up. Former heavy weight champion Jack Dempsey once said, "A champion is one who gets back up when he can't. People who reach their goal keep going when they think they can't. They're tenacious, and as a result they keep moving closer to their goal day by day. Some days they may be moving only a few inches at a time, but they're moving forward. They believe in their God-given destiny, they believe in themselves, and they say so. 

Now, saying you believe in yourself won't guarantee your success, but saying you don't believe in yourself will guarantee your failure. The truth is you're not alone, God is with you. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:29). So be tenacious!

(Taken from: The Word For You Today - August 25, 2014)

My post today is shorter than usual, but this way I will be motivated to write more often on the spur of the moment. Long posts take time to create like a chapter in a book. This approach with be something new for me and I hope it will be met with your favor. 

Better Things Ahead 

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."  C. S. Lewis (2006)

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Bittersweet is November

“Liberty is never unalienable; it must be redeemed regularly with the blood of patriots or it always vanishes. Of all the so-called natural human rights that have ever been invented, liberty is least likely to be cheap and is never free of cost.”   ― Robert A. Heinlein

November 11, 1919, was the first anniversary of the signing of the armistice, which ended World War I.  Celebrated as Armistice Day, it was dedicated to the cause of world peace.  The day was commemorated with prayer and thanksgiving, filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who selflessly served our country.  In 1954, the word Armistice was stricken and Veterans Day took its place in history.  Each year, November 11th is a national holiday to ensure that ALL our veterans know how deeply we appreciate the sacrifices they have made in their lives with parades and speeches. Yet we owe them so much more . . .

I have seen it in your face
I am sure you have noticed it in mine;
that thousand-yard stare
that does not look out --
it looks in --
at the unutterable,
unalterable truth of our war.   ~ The Wall Within

This may not be the best time.  My blog is heading in a direction that I had not planned.  But I'm on a roll and words are flooding my computer screen.  It wants be written . . .  

Veterans Day, Memorial Day and the 4th of July are the holidays that grab me by the ankles. My senses are on high alert, certain images bring flashbacks, and tears simply break loose at the strangest times.  My memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder shows my journey with the love of my life as we battle his PTSD.  It wasn't until years later, when I began to research this disorder for my book, that I learned I had PTSD as well . . . through association.  I now know that this is why I react to certain stimuli the way I do. The dreams are less often, but I can't watch a war movie or war news without tears. Nor can I sing patriotic songs without blubbering.  The homeless veterans rip my heart.  And I have yet to be able to thank a veteran for his service at the airport or out in public without stammering over the searing lump in my throat, tears embarrassing us both.

Does anyone else go through this after so many years . . . or is it just me?

I stood there one fall
ankle deep in leaves
and looked up at the night sky
through a hole in a ceiling of trees
wondering how much better the world
might look from up there.   ~ The Wall Within

Most of my days hum effortlessly with a plethora of activity tossing me from one hour to the next. My energy level soars as I juggle the shiny balls overhead.  But then comes November swooping down on me like an eagle preparing to snatch me away.

Each November arrives with poignant promptings of the past intertwined with the present, like a finely woven sterling chain around my neck. Veteran's Day is in November, stirring up vivid memories of love and pain from long ago. No matter how long, no one ever forgets!  My husbands birthday is in November.  The 18th.  In 2001, after years scattered with tears, I received an amazing GIFT on Lorne's birthday.  My youngest granddaughter was born!  Was it a coincidence?  No ... I know it was a GIFT to help heal my heart.  

Bittersweet is the taste of November.

Veterans Facts

There are approximately 23.2 million veterans in the United States.

These brave men and women who serve and protect our country come from all walks of life; they are parents, children and grandparents.  They are friends, neighbors and coworkers, and an important part of their communities.  Here are some facts about the current veteran population of the United States.

• 9.2 million veterans are over the age of 65.
• 1.9 million veterans are under the age of 35.
• 1.8 million veterans are women. (For another post)
• 7.8 million veterans served during the Vietnam War era (1964-1975), which represents 33% of all living veterans.
• 5.2 million veterans served during the Gulf War (representing service from Aug. 2, 1990, to present).
• 2.6 veterans served during World War II (1941-1945)
• 2.8 million veterans served during the Korean War (1950-1953)
• 6 million veterans served in peacetime.
• As of 2008, 2.9 million veterans received compensation for service-connected disabilities.
• 5 states have more than 1 million veterans in among their population: California (2.1 million), Florida (1.7 million), Texas ( 1.7 million), New York (1 million) and Pennsylvania (1 million).
• The VA health care system had 54 hospitals in 1930, since then it has expanded to include 171 medical centers; more than 350 outpatient, community and outreach clinics; 126 nursing home care units; and 35 live-in care facilities for injured or disabled vets.

U.S. Census Bureau and United States Department of Veterans Affairs

Note: I was unable to locate veteran statistics beyond 2010.  These numbers would increase greatly with that information.  

The SADDEST question of all:  How many of these BRAVE and HONORABLE men and women live on the STREETS?  This must end!  We MUST take care of our own!

God bless America and the honorable men and women at her beacon call.

 

"Diary of a Vet's Wife" reveals PTSD / Marketing / Reviewers

On December 5, 2012, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, left the protection of my heart and stepped boldly out into the world. I am the woman who lived this life, but I know there are thousands throughout the world who know the love, heartbreak and fear I share on the pages of my memoir.     

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without words, and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson 

I flew to AUSTRALIA three days after my book came out where I wandered the crusty shores of this beautiful country. A shoreline dappled with porous coves, vanishing rock pools and jagged slabs of rock that only nature could construct. Its powerful dashing crashing surf could seduce any CALIFORNIA girl with a wink. A dream-like Christmas holiday with my daughter and her family, a rare and loving gift.

I had planned to detail the breathtaking landscape, the gentleness of its people and a petting zoo hopping with baby KANGAROOS. Tales of its hungry wind and calf-burning hills, an enchanted white butterfly, and my first taste of PAVLOVA drenched in PASSIONFRUIT. 

But when I turned on my computer, MSNBC opened with a major headline: The enemy within: Soldier suicides outpaced combat deaths in 2012!  Reality yanked me back by the hair.

Our brave men and women who go where they're told to fight the battles they're handed are giving up! They are OUR NATIONS BACKBONE and we MUST stand beside them!

Sometimes reality is too complex. Stories give it form.   - Jean Luc Godard

The following week another MSNBC article, "Like an airborne disease," was startling. It told of the increase in family members taking their own lives. I immediately emailed the NBC news correspondent who wrote the article to briefly relate my own dance with the demons, my book and my passion to reach others with HOPE. He replied in NINE MINUTES! I was shocked! 

Other articles he wrote showed the COMPASSION he shares for our warriors and their families. He also sent me the names of two top RESOURCES to start my quest, plus the following excerpt from his email:

Sorry to say, I don't think we would do anything specifically on your book. But when we revisit this topic - whether it would be about PTSD or suicide - I can use you as a source and include the title of your book. I have a couple of upcoming stories where your thoughts and experiences may fit in well. 

A note to all writers: Go with your INSTINCT! Turn over every rock on your path because you never know what treasure lies beneath - when it comes to MARKETING your work.

 The next phase of my journey - MARKETING 911 . . .

On June 26, 2011, I posted a blog entitled Marketing in an Electronic World . . . My First Steps.

• create a blog
• construct a MARKETING PLAN
• join a Writers Group Online

On July 28, 2011, I posted, The Marketing Medusa . . . Don't Let it Overwhelm You!

• qualities needed to successfully market your book
• locating your target audience and others for your work

Reference above posts . . .  

Since my return from Australia, the main focus has been Reviews/Reviewers. I had ordered 25 books before I left. They were waiting like happy puppies. The  more you order the better the discount. The first copies are being sent to friends and family I ACKNOWLEDGE in my memoir. Pets for Vets was also on that list. A few organizations are still waiting for their copies. If only there were more hours in a day.  

Self-publishers have the INTERNET at their fingertips like a giant fortune teller with insomnia, its catacombs pulsating with answers as it waits for a question to be asked.

Multiple lists of Reviewers are available on the internet. Research to highlight those who read your genre and  verify they are accepting new books. ALWAYS contact a reviewer before you send your book. It could take 3-6 months to be reviewed. 

I'd like to invite any reviewer or book club interested in my memoir to contact me at diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com where we can discuss your request. This email address is on the back of my book for any reader or organization wanting to talk or share.

"Determine your "official publication date" (OPD) and make sure it's 90-120+ days after your "bound book date" (BBD), the date you have printed books in your hands. Use this period to get your book into the hands of key industry reviewers and to start building your book buzz.

For NICHE BOOKS - Keep beefing up your "final book" review copy list by hunting up websites that deal with your subject Area. Shoot for initial list of 200-300 and grow from there. Create a system for keeping track of your contacts."
                                                                      - Well-Fed Self-Publisher by Peter Bowerman

I'm overwhelmed by the reviews coming in. All seem touched with new insight as to what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder really is. Their kind words and encouragement continue to push me beyond my comfort zone. I can never thank you enough, for myself and all the others, who have met the demons I encountered and conquered!   

Food for thought . . . my two cents

I would greatly appreciate your reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It need not be long, but may coax someone else dealing with this issue to reach out for comfort in knowing they're not alone. My heartfelt thanks, if you're so led.   

As one reader wrote: 

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a story the American public may not want, but needs to hear. Especially now that there is a promised date to the Afghanistan presence of U.S. and troops of other nations, which will lead to large numbers of newly returned men and women who have experienced this certain form of hell.                                   Review by Jack Smith, writer and author