PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Updated Cheat Sheet for Vets and Writers

 

Blog of a Vet's Wife portrays the detailed journey of publishing my first book, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, the CHALLENGES and LESSONS learned, while pinpointing PTSD and how this disorder is ravaging our men and women returning from war in epidemic proportions.  My main MISSION is to EDUCATE mankind on PTSD and its effect on families and our nation as a whole.

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.            ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The HOLIDAYS have moved in with all their baggage like unexpected house guests who plan to stay a while. With cluttered days and endless commitments, I barely noticed until they jumped off the calendar and splashed into my coffee. Where did this year go??

Tomorrow I fly to Chicago to spend Thanksgiving with my sons and their families. I DREAD flying in the WINTER and I HATE being COLD, but this will be the FIRST time we've been together for Thanksgiving since they were little. One of the hardships of modern-day living in different states and countries. My daughter will be missing, but Australia is too far. She'll be in our hearts and thoughts.

My cup over-flows with BLESSINGS. I have so much to be thankful for. As a writer, I hope to capture each moment to save for a rainy day when I can pull them up at random and savor every smile and the laughter once again.

Please remember to GIVE THANKS for our brave WARRIORS who will not be spending Thanksgiving with their families and loved ones.  Their absence is painful but their dedication and SELFLESSNESS is what makes our country strong. Pray for their safety this holiday and that one day soon these wars will end so they can return home to the loving arms waiting for them. 

With time running short, I wanted to post a BLOG before my flight. I decided to update my CHEAT SHEET. It's been two years since my last revision. I know I have many new readers who might be looking for a specific topic. This BLOG concentrates on my exposure to PTSD through my husbands journey, what happened and what I learned.  It also shows how I came to write this book and each step into publishing ... DETAILED.

The list may seem daunting but the descriptions are brief. The dates coincide with those on the right side of the blog.

HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING AND RELISH EVERY MORSEL ...

MY UNCHARTED JOURNEY INTO PUBLISHING . . . UPDATED CHEAT SHEET!

Below is a list of my blogs for those who might be looking for a specific topic: 
     1.  In The Beginning                                                                April 13,  2011
          How my book came to be . . .

     2.  This Closet Writer . . . Goes Public                                  April 16
           My first writing class - posting my blog

     3.  I Never Planned to be a Writer!                                       April 23
          Blogging - my writing class - my free-lance editor   

     4.  Publicize Your Book . . .                                                    May 1
          Publicizing - blogging - writing class - book query
    
     5.  Write Your Heart Out . . .                                                 May 7
          Blogging - why I wrote my book - book proposal excerpt

     6. Q is for Query Letter . . .                                                    May 15
          Posted my original query letter

     7.  B is for Book Proposal . . . Part One                                May 21
          Elements of a book proposal - my proposal table of contents
    
     8.  B is for Book Proposal . . . Part Two                                June 12
          More elements of a book proposal
    
     9.  What Next? . . . Time for an Agent                                  June 19
          Some basic agent information
   
    10.  Marketing in an Electronic World . . .                            June 26
           First steps to marketing my book  
   
    11.  Will Self-Publishing be My Only Option?                      July 3
           Posted excerpt from Chapter One of my book    

    12.  A Platform . . . Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone    July 11
           Start to develop a platform for my book
   
    13.  The Marketing Medusa . . .                                              July 28
           JK Rowling's success - more marketing
   
    14.  2011 Agents . . . What Do They Really Want?              August 7
           Identify agent's most asked for requirements
   
    15.  What is a Synopsis and Why? . . . Part One                  August 27
           Details to begin synopsis process
   
    16.  One Writer's Journey into Publishing Cheat Sheet     September 4
           Lists previous blogs and subject matter

    17.  What is a Synopsis and Why? . . . Part Two                 September 11
           What to include in a synopsis

    18.  Ebooks . . . A Contemporary "David and Goliath"     September 19
           Show why authors are choosing to self-publish
   
    19.  The #1 Question: Who is Your Audience? . . . plus Excerpt
            Importance of locating your specific audience                September 26
   
    20.  "The Moving Wall" . . . An Experience I Will Never Forget!
             An emotional visit that squeezed my heart                     October 3

    21.  Traditional Publish or Self-Publish . . . My Decision plus Excerpt
            What direction I chose and why                                       October 10
   
    22.  Public Speaking 101 . . . Fight or Flight?                               
           Terror and my first class . . .                                              October 17

    23.  My First Speech . . . plus Revised Cheat Sheet into Publishing
            First speech panic plus . . .                                               October 24

    24.  Africa's Beauty Being Strangled / One Person Making a Difference
            Unique story about Africa                                                November 23

    25.  Has PTSD Touched You? / Chapter 26 Excerpt . . .
           What is PTSD?                                                                  December 3

    26.  Our Soldiers are returning / Write Your Heart Out
           Warriors from Iraq and reality                                           December 14

    27.  Ghost of Christmas Past / Chapter 15 Excerpt
            Memories of Christmas                                                     December 24

    28.  The Self-Publishing Jitters of a Perfectionist
           Trials of self-publishing                                                    January 7, 2012

    29.   Wounded Warriors Walk Among Us / Chapter 24
             Reality and PTSD symptoms                                           February 8

    30.  Self-Publishing Nitty-Gritty / Copyright / Excerpt
           Copyrighting and song lyrics                                             February 19

    31.  PTSD / Can One Woman and Her Book Make a Difference?
           How my story helps our warriors with PTSD                    March 12

    32.  Self-Publishing / PTSD - A Passage of Passion
           Print-on-demand - song lyric trials                                      April 6

    33.  PTSD / Vet's Wife Self-Publishing / Chapter 33 Excerpt
           Formatting anguish                                                              June 13

    34.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Sneak Peek at the Cover
            The dawning of my book cover                                          July 16

    35.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Where's the Book??
           Reveal my self-publisher and perfect cover                        November 6

    36.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife Appeared on My Doorstep!
           Seeing my book for the first time                                      December 6

    37.  Diary of a Vet's Wife Reveals PTSD / Marketing / Reviews
           Suicide increase and my marketing plan                           February 18, 2013

    38.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / The Truth and Vulnerability
           What you should know about PTSD                                  April 13

    39.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife and Memorial Day Memories
            My first encounter with the Moving Wall                         May 27

    40.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife goes to The White House
           How my book got to the White House                               July 4

    41.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife and Michelle Obama
           A surprise from Washington                                              October 6

    42.  PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Bittersweet is November
           Veterans Day meaning and memories                             November 10

Did you find something of interest for your own Journey?

   
           
           
 

My First Speech! . . . plus Revised Cheat Sheet into Publishing

Last week was one of those whirlwind weeks!  A wake-up call!  I realized I had over-done-it this semester . . . BIG TIME!!  So rather than skip a week, I decided to revise my Journey into Publishing Cheat Sheet.  This way I can still eat and sleep, not to mention, my brain is fried like a green tomato.  Too many different classes and research . . . but I won't bore you with that.

Time is the coin of your life.  It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent.  Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.     - Carl Sandberg  (1878 - 1976)

My biggest challenge was my "Introduction" for Speech Class on Thursday evening.  As many know, my hand-held tape recorder is my #1 writing tool, next to my computer, which I planned to use for my speech. So what happens? The wretched thing developes an attitude . . . a horrible clicking that was so loud it drowned-out my voice, and couldn't be fixed.  Solution: buy a new one!  But now everything's digital!  The instructions were 6 pages long . . . and this took more time!

Pleasure and action make the hours seem short - William Shakespeare  (1564 - 1616)

I called Ingrid, the speaker I was to introduce, and gathered information to use in my Introduction.  The writing came easy . . . MEMORIZING was the hard part!  I missed my writing class in Santa Barbara on Thursday morning because I needed more practice.  Once I was fairly confident I knew my material, I wrote notes on a 4X6 index card and clipped it to my olive-green booklet.

That evening, I calmly sat listening to others speak.  I was the last Introducer on the program.  I had my notes and knew my subject.  It wasn't until I got up and walked to the side of the stage, waiting to be called by our Master of Ceremonies, that I began to shake!  It wasn't my hands or my knees . . . it was the upper half of my chest and shoulders!  The WIERDEST thing!!  Anyone else ever experience this?  Deep breathing DID NOT WORK.  Once I reached the podium, I took a deep breath, looked around and smiled sheepishly . . . then switched into automatic pilot.  

My presentation evaluation was complementary, noting I had no ahh's or uhh's.  I had practiced THE PAUSE when I couldn't remember what came next.  It worked!  My only ZING. . . I walked off stage on the wrong side . . . in front of the Master of Ceremony, instead of the opposite side.  This is definitely a NO-NO! 

"We can't all be stars . . . but we can all twinkle!"     - Fay Angus

Next week . . . my REAL SPEECH!  Scary!  This fear is something I'm determined to overcome!  I'm being groomed by Linda, one of our facilitators.  Her first call came Sunday evening at 7:00.  I was to have a "skeleton" outline ready to review.  Considering this was my FULL WEEKEND Counseling Conference (7:00 - 10:00 Friday evening and 8:00 - 5:30 Saturday), and with church on Sunday, I was doubting my ability.  But once I got in the groove, it more or less poured out.  She liked my writing . . . now all I have to do is turn it into a 5 minute speech!  Her follow-up call will be Tuesday evening at 7:00.  By then, I'm expected to have my speech "fleshed out."  Heaven only knows how this will turn out . . .

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.               - Rodin  (1840 - 1917)


MY UNCHARTED JOURNEY INTO PUBLISHING . . . REVISED CHEAT SHEET!

Below is a list of my blogs for those who might be looking for a specific topic: 
     1.  In The Beginning                                                               April 9
          How my book came to be . . .
     2.  This Closet Writer . . . Goes Public                                April 16
           My first writing class - posting my blog
     3.  I Never Planned to be a Writer!                                      April 23
          Blogging - my writing class - my free-lance editor   
     4.  Publicize Your Book . . .                                                     May 1
          Publicizing - blogging - writing class - book query
     5.  Write Your Heart Out . . .                                                   May 7
          Blogging - why I wrote my book - book proposal excerpt
     6. Q is for Query Letter . . .                                                    May 15
          Posted my original query letter
     7.  B is for Book Proposal . . . Part One                                 May 21
          Elements of a book proposal - my proposal table of contents
     8.  B is for Book Proposal . . . Part Two                                 June 12
          More elements of a book proposal
     9.  What Next? . . . Time for an Agent                                   June 19
          Some basic agent information
    10.  Marketing in an Electronic World . . .                             June 26
           First steps to marketing my book  
    11.  Will Self-Publishing be My Only Option?                          July 3
           Posted excerpt from Chapter One of my book
    12.  A Platform . . . Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone       July 11
           Start to develop a platform for my book
    13.  The Marketing Medusa . . .                                              July 28
           JK Rowling's success - more marketing
    14.  2011 Agents . . . What Do They Really Want?              August 7
           Identify agent's most asked for requirements
    15.  What is a Synopsis and Why? . . . Part One                 August 27
           Details to begin synopsis process
    16.  One Writer's Journey into Publishing Cheat Sheet  September 4
           Lists previous blogs and subject matter
    17.  What is a Synopsis and Why? . . . Part Two              September 11
            What to include in a synopsis
    18.  Ebooks . . . A Contemporary "David and Goliath"  September 19
           Show why authors are choosing to self-publish
    19.  The #1 Question: Who is Your Audience? . . . plus Excerpt
             Importance of locating your specific audience             September 26
    20.  "The Moving Wall" . . . An Experience I Will Never Forget!
             An emotional visit that squeezed my heart                       October 3
    21.  Traditional Publish or Self-Publish . . . My Decision plus Excerpt
            What direction I chose and why                                       October 10
    22.  Public Speaking 101 . . . Fight or Flight?                               
           Terror and my first class . . .                                              October 17

Lesson learned . . . or my two cents

This week I learned that Tom Carey, a classmate from my writing class, had graciously developed a sample cover for my book, which I never got to see . . . instead, I was home memorizing my speech.  Tom is an artist and a photographer, who generously offered to put some ideas on paper.  I'm sorry I missed the showing, Tom.  I didn't know you had time to do this yet and I'm anxious to see what you've created.  Hopefully, I'm better prepared this week, so I can attend class.  Thank you so much!!!

Visit Tom @ http://www.andawaywegotomgcarey.com/ to sneak a peek at his artwork and photography

One Writer's Journey into Publishing Cheat Sheet . . .

My Uncharted Journey into Publishing My First Book has been quite exceptional, to say the least.  Little did I know the hard work and wonder that lay ahead when I started this blog on April 9th . . .

In utter loneliness a writer tries to explain the inexplicable.        - John Steinbeck

Summer is waning like a melting ice cream cone dripping on the sidewalk.  We in California know scorching days still lay ahead as Fall brings golden school busses filled with chattering children back on the road.  And once again, it's time for serious adults to venture back to school, tackling classes to further their education, or quench their utmost passions.  I know I am!  Too bad there's so few days in the week . . . there are half-a-dozen more classes I'd love to take.  Guess that's what I get for being a Gemini . . .

My journey becomes more challenging . . .

This fall I continue my Write From The Start class on WRITING / PUBLISHING at Santa Barbara Community College each Thursday morning.  I long to be back with my peers and stimulating new writers.  On Thursday evenings, I start a Public Speaking class offered at a nearby church, where I hope to get over any shyness that may stand in my way.  And one weekend a month for 3 months, I'll be attending a Counseling Class at my church. Once I complete this 30-hour requirement, I'll be a certified NANC Counselor with skills needed to talk with readers and others who have shared my experience, or something similar.

Nothing like being visible, publishing one's work, and speaking openly about one's life, to disabuse the world of the illusion of one's perfection and purity.            - Joyce Maynard

This week I've chosen to take a break from my normal blog . . . look back over my shoulder and share my journey with new comers . . . there are so many of you!  I'm thrilled!  Your interest is humbling, yet gives my work meaning.  May I say, "Thank you so much!"

If you joined in the middle of my journey, you probably haven't had time to go back to the beginning where it all started and why.  I wanted to make it easier for you to find specific areas of interest.  Therefore, I've provided, shall I say, a cheat-sheet of each blog and it's content.  No need to hunt for it.   

Once my book, Diary of a Vet's Wife, subtitled Loving and living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is published and things settle down, I plan to turn this blog into my second book . . . aimed at those of you on their own journey.  Maybe it will help eliminate some bumps along the way . . .

Below is a list of my blogs for those who might be looking for a specific topic: 

     1.  In The Beginning                                                            April 9
          How my book came to be . . .
     2.  This Closet Writer . . . Goes Public                             April 16
           My first writing class - posting my blog
     3.  I Never Planned to be a Writer!                                   April 23
          Blogging - my writing class - my free-lance editor
     4.  Publicize Your Book . . .                                                  May 1
          Publicizing - blogging - writing class - book query
     5.  Write Your Heart Out . . .                                                 May 7
          Blogging - why I wrote my book - book proposal excerpt
     6. Q is for Query Letter . . .                                                 May 15
          Posted my original query letter
     7.  B is for Book Proposal . . . Part One                             May 21
          Elements of a book proposal - my proposal table of contents
     8.  B is for Book Proposal . . . Part Two                            June 12
          More elements of a book proposal
     9.  What Next? . . . Time for an Agent                               June 19
          Some basic agent information
    10.  Marketing in an Electronic World . . .                         June 26
           First steps to marketing my book
    11.  Will Self-Publishing be My Only Option?                      July 3
           Posted excerpt from Chapter One of my book
    12.  A Platform . . . Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone   July 11
           Start to develop a platform for my book
    13.  The Marketing Medusa . . .                                           July 28
           JK Rowling's success - more marketing
    14.  2011 Agents . . . What Do They Really Want?           August 7
           Identify agent's most asked for requirements
    15.  What is a Synopsis and Why? . . . Part One             August 27
           Details to begin synopsis process

What stage are you at on your writing journey?

Lesson Learned . . . or my two cents

There is a voyeuristic appeal to readers of memoirs.  Since many memoirs are traumatic in nature, the reader will feel that someone had had it worse than they could imagine.  The reader can read about surviving poverty, drug addition, a lost love, or a father who sexually abused his young daughter.  As publishers say, "Agony sells."  Reading a memoir is like stepping into another person's life.                                                         - Cork Millner, Write From The Start

What is a Synopsis and Why? . . . Part One

As a general rule, I believed a Synopsis was used to sell most fiction books, whereas a Book Proposal was the selling tool for nonfiction.  My book is a memoir and I was taught a book proposal would be required for submission.  I spent agonizing months laboring over this monster to put it kindly, and was ready to throw a party when I was finished.  Yet my research  uncovered a conundrum between the two . . . different books, articles and agents say one thing . . . while others say just the opposite.  Great!
 
The solution:  Be prepared to do both . . . unless you know something I don't know, or plan to self-publish.

. . . See B is for Book Proposal . . . Part One and Two in May & June.
 
Your initial contact determines the agent's first impression of you.  You want to be professional and brief.  Research plays an important role, show the agent you've done your homework.

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."       Anne Lamott

Submission guidelines . . . The agent I described in my last blog stated they do not accept email queries.  This pleased me because of all the email queries I've sent . . . only 1 replied.  Instead, this new agent asked for a query letter,  a 1-3 page synopsis, and the first 50 pages of my manuscript, which is different from most.   Rewriting my query letter was a snap compared to the synopsis.  My original synopsis is part of my book proposal.  I slaved to shave the 109 chapters in Diary of a Vet's Wife down to 7 pages and I was RELIEVED when it was DONE!  Now I'm being asked to condense this same information into 1-3 pages!  Are they serious???

The SYNOPSIS is the most important part of your submission package!!!

It's your selling tool . . . your ticket in the door!  And it can prove harder to write than the actual book, but it's worth it.  You must develop, sweat over and polish it . . . giving it the same attention you devoted to your book!

Your query letter and synopsis are what sells the editor on your manuscript!

Your synopsis is an outline describing the general events of your book written in the PRESENT TENSE NARRATIVE. 

Some key questions to answer in a synopsis:

  What is your story about?

•   Who are the main characters?
•   What do these characters want?
•   What stands in their way of getting it?

A short description of the main theme of a nonfiction work should focus on:

•   The Main Characters
•   The Main Plot
•   The Main Conflicts 

How to Write a Great Synopsis . . . 

1. Focus on your characters and what is happening to them!
2. Give editor a sense of setting, tone and pace of your book.  They are your reader . . . entice them.
3. Follow the editors instructions!!! 
4. Don't reproduce first pages of your book!  Make synopsis original, yet a true representation of your story at the same time.
5. DON'T LEAVE OUT THE CLIFF HANGERS.
6. Don't include character's physical description
7. Don't include secondary characters, unless important to plot and affect your character

One Step at a Time . . .

Don't be intimidated . . . break it down . . . step by step

•   Sit for a final reading with a pen and notebook
•   As you finish each chapter, write a 1 or 2 paragraph summary
•   What happened?
•   Where?
•   To which character?

Notice themes running through chapters as you read.  Make note of themes.  You may uncover your one-line summary agents and editors like so much.

When you are done, you will have a chapter by chapter book outline called the author's outline.

Though this outline is no longer favored by editors and agents, it will remain one of your most valuable writing tools.  Never throw it away!  This outline will help if you ever decide to revise your novel.

Immediate use for the outline . . . Now you can pinpoint the most important plot points in the outline and put them into the synopsis. 

To be continued . . .

My trip to Ohio . . .

At my mom's, I was greeted by 100 empty cream puff shells, covered in plastic wrap, waiting on my bedroom dresser.  She's 94 and my cousin assisted in this endeavor.  As tradition goes, I help mom and my sister fill and frost these delicate shells the morning of the reunion. 

Mom was up early, too excited to sleep, and had 40-some filled before I wandered into the kitchen for coffee.  Everything went well until it was time for the frosting.  Mom didn't have a recipe . . . it's in her head and all she remembered was the list of ingredients!  What to do?  So, like 3 mad scientists, we added a little bit-of-this and a little bit-of-that into the pan hoping it won't turn to fudge. Soon mom announced, "It feels right," as she sat stirring the smooth, warm chocolate with a wooden spoon.

The cream puffs were perfection.  All 45 at the reunion once again savored this infamous delicacy . . . unaware of our chaos.

Lessons learned . . . my two cents

"Literary experience heals the wound, without undermining the privilege, of individuality."  C.S. Lewis 

2011 Agents . . . What Do They Really Want?

It was November 2010 . . . I had made a vow to query agents and publishers for one full year before I'd seriously consider Self-Publishing my memoir.  But somewhere along the way I was subtly seduced by the many facets of marketing, drawn from a multitude of online articles and books I discovered.  Soon I was up to my chin in market research gasping for air, while my Agents sulked in the corner.

This came to a screeching halt last Sunday afternoon when I realized how many days and months had vanished . . . it was time to get back on track.

Self-discipline is a writer's key to success!  We must be as passionate in our self-discipline as we are in our writing!  It doesn't come easy, but it can be attained with practice.  I must stay focused!

The future of your book is in the hands of the person who knows more about it . . . cares more about it . . . and will benefit more from it than anyone else . . . you!     
               Michael Larsen, How to Write a Book Proposal

My initial blog on Agents was posted June 19th, so let me continue . . .

At first, I was excited to be searching for an agent after spending 16 years writing my memoir.  Once the novelty wore off, I was able to look at the process more clearly and uncover key data . . .

• Most agents want clients with the ability to produce more than one book stating they represent careers . . . not books.
• If your writing focuses on a particular area . . . you may benefit by submitting your work directly to a small or specialized press.  Small presses often give greater attention to the writer with editorial help and marketing expertise. 

Since my book is a memoir, my research should focus on the small or specialized presses.  I will never stop writing . . . I'm only uncertain of the genre.

An exciting find for my memoir . . . On Friday, I came across an agent who has worked in the publishing business since 1979, first as an editor at W.W. Norton.  There she published DEAR AMERICA: Letters Home From Vietnam, which became an Emmy award-winning documentary.  This is the first agent I've found who was passionate about my subject.  Will my query letter ignite this flame again?  Only time will tell.  This weekend I plan to redraft my query for submission.  All prayers are welcome . . .

What are agents really looking for?

• Agents can only spend a minute at most reading your query letter . . . explain what you want them to know IMMEDIATELY.  They want to be taken by SURPRISE.  Be surprising!
• Fiction - Agents look for a track record.  Are you committed to your craft and building an audience?
• Memoir is a tricky genre.  Agents look for two main things: a UNIQUE story and GREAT writing.  Memoirs should read like novels.  They should have suspense, conflict, emotion, character development, dialogue and narrative throughout.  Why will people be interested in you?
• Why are you qualified to write what you wrote and how does it DIFFER from what's already been published on this topic?
• Agents want to see a MARKETING PLAN.  What the author can really do that will sell the book, not wishful thinking.
• It's not rude to ask for more detailed feedback following a rejection . . . but be POLITE.

A sampling of agent footnotes:

1. "We like storytelling defined - by its extraordinary power to resonate universally on a deeply emotional level."
2. "We seek strong new voices in fiction and nonfiction and are fiercely dedicated to our authors."
3. "Narrative nonfiction - projects that simply teach me something new about the greater world and society around us."
4. "Accomplished storytellers with their own distinct voice, who are able to create psychological conflict with their narrative."
5. "Projects that tackle big topics with an unusual approach."
6. "An analysis of why your proposed book is different and better than the competition is essential."

What your giving can do is . . . help your reader be braver . . . be better than they are . . . be open to the world again.   Anne Lamott, bird by bird


The 34th Annual Family Reunion . . . 

I leave for Ohio on Thursday at 8:05 a.m.  This is where I grew up . . . until my husband was transferred to California.  Yipee!!  I escaped the SNOW!

The announcement displays a full-color group photo with my mother, the matriarch of our family, seated in a folding chair surrounded by grinning faces and a sea of children at her feet.  42 attended last year.  These are my roots, where I feel safe in times of trouble.  Though we may not always agree, we're a family who cares with unconditional love.

At 94, my mom still lives at home with the help of a caregiver five mornings a week.  Her mind is sharp as any of you, though her body grows weak.  She may use a walker, but every year she makes over 100 cream puffs from scratch for "her family."  This is tradition. 

I look forward to this trip back in time, surrounded by family and friends, reliving tales of when we were young.  Two weeks brimming with lots of love, lots of laughter and lots of food.  These times I truly miss . . . until I remember the SNOW!

Lesson learned . . . my two cents  

"We meet no ordinary people in our lives." - C.S. Lewis 

Marketing in an Electronic World. . . My First Steps

Writing is ninety percent listening.  You listen so deep to the space around you that it fills you, and when you write, it pours out of you.                         Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones

Our world may teem with pain and violence, but we have the ability to turn off the chatter, and open our minds to the peace and tranquility all around us . . . this is your choice.

I see wonder in the ordinary, and often get lost in taking pictures of no one . . . pictures without people. 

A weathered wooden fence dappled with layers of peeling blue paint, lifted by decades of heat and rain.  A single rusty nail draws me close.  Who pounded that nail and why?  "Click, click."  Or white crusted barnacles growing on the pilings under Santa Monica pier like on a grizzled old whale.  "Click, click."  Staircases, fire escapes, the angles, the lines.  "Click, click."  A vine hidden treehouse abandoned in the woods long ago.  Where are the laughing children who once played there?  "Click, click." 

Shadows are my favorite, clinging to their subject, if only by a thread.  Shadows add character, depth and dimension to the existing beauty.  If only I can catch it before it disappears.  "Click, click."

Do others see what I see?

Less than 10 percent of new writers have enough promotional ammunition to interest large publishers.                                    
                     Michael Larsen, How to Write a Book Proposal

Never before has a writer had more opportunities to market their own book than today.  Technology continues to advance at such a fast pace it's hard to keep up.  Yet, this is one of the most success-filled avenues to promote your book . . . and the best news is that your choices are ENDLESS.

I'm still wallowing in information, but I want to share what I'm learning as I go . . .

• Start promoting BEFORE your book is finished - Your objective should be to first create interest.  Then sustain that interest as you build on it.  This will begin your potential reader base . . .  

Currently, my book is in its final edit.  Kay Thompson Lee, my freelance editor, is smoothing out any rough edges she may find, and I'm extremely pleased with her subtle changes and expertise.

• Create a blog

The first item on my to-do-list, and soon-to-be constructed MARKETING PLAN, was to create a blog . . . my first blog ever.  This was accomplished on Google Blogspot with little difficulty.  My first post was April 9, 2011, and as of today, I've had 1020 page viewers, which includes many other countries.  I'm stunned but delighted because my story needs to be heard.   

How did this happen? 

Each week, after I post my new blog, I send an announcement to all friends and family in my email address book (approx. 80).  This way they know it's posted, and don't have to search for it.  And they have the option whether to view it now or later, or not at all.

• Join a Writers Group Online

Next, I joined SheWrites, which is an online writers group that was recommended.  SheWrites consists of groups within the group, depending on your genre, interests and the stage of your work.  I joined Blogging about Books and Writing . . . Memoir Writers . . . I'm Thinking of Self-Publishing . . . Marketing Ideas . . . and What Did You Blog About Today?

Each day, SheWrites forwards emails from these writers showing what they posted that day.  I reply to the emails of interest, or to new friends I've made.  My blog address is attached at the end of my reply.  This is time consuming, but definitely joy-filled, and a necessary tool for your success.  And I've met the most amazing women! 

This is where Time Management plays a key role.  And once I figure out how to manage my time . . . I'll be the first to share because I know all writers wrestle with the infamous time bandit.

The women on SheWrites are talented writers willing to share their expertise.  It's been a pleasure getting to know them, and their work, gleaning new ideas daily.  Their comments and encouragement were unexpected, offering friendship from across the country and around the world. 

 . . . to be continued.  

Lesson learned . . . my two cents

Anytime you meet someone new, and they learn you're a writer and show interest . . . NEVER miss an opportunity to ASK for their email address.  Then add it to your address book ASAP (placing a key word next to their name for later recall where you met).  Little pieces of paper have a tendency to disappear, and you don't have time to waste looking for it . . . nor lose a potential sale.

Note:  You can visit:  In The Beginning . . . and Q is for Query Letter . . .  to learn what my book is about.

What Next? . . . Time for An Agent

When was the last time you saw something that took your breath away?

A week before my trip to New Zealand, I drove a friend to the ocean, which she hadn't seen in years.  The day was perfect.  The water's surface dimpled by a steady breeze, frothy white curls crashed against one another.  I pulled my car off the road overlooking the view, and opened my sunroof to listen to its rhythm.  

Suddenly I notice three, massive brown pelicans gliding in formation over the road coming toward us.  Their seven-foot wing span cast shadows on the mountain wall.  Strong necks stretch to conceal their pouches, purple feet are tucked against their belly.  I am spellbound.  Then I see another formation off to the right.  I count eleven huge birds gliding along the ocean's edge . . . then another group of eight . . . and then three.  They keep coming until I lose count.  These mammoth birds fly over my car like small airplanes.  I feel like we're in Jurassic Park . . . expecting to see an Allosaurus lumbering down the road after us.  It takes my breath away!!! 

Literature is like any other trade; you will never sell anything unless you go to the right shop.    - George Bernard Shaw

Searching for an agent can be overwhelming, whether you just finished your first book, or have several publishing credits on your resume.  The question is . . . do you need a literary agent, or can you submit the work directly to publishers on your own?

Research suggests the following . . .

• Large publishing houses like Simon & Schuster, Random House, etc. require literary agent representation.  They lack the time and manpower to go through a plethora of queries in search of the next best seller.  However, an agent will dive in looking for the biggest fish.  His/or her reputation is at stake, as well as his income.
• Medium and small  presses may accept query letters, but you must do your research.

I found two main sources for literary agents . . . the 2011 Guide to Literary Agents by Writers Digest (20th Anniversary Edition) and the 2011 Writers Market (90th Annual Edition).  Armed with a strip of stick-on page markers, one of these references could keep you busy until your next birthday.
 
Genres are listed in the back of the book.  Mine are Memoir, Military, Creative-Nonfiction & Christian.  The literary agencies in your genres will list their requirements.  Mark the ones that show promise.  Next . . . go to their website for more detailed information.  Does your work still fit within their guidelines?  If so, highlight the specific agent handling your genre . . . then start your list of Submissions.

A query letter can be sent to as many agents and publishers as you desire.  I normally work with two to three at one time.  Each query letter is personalized, then noted on a Submission Ledger . . . which lists the date sent, agent/agency/publisher, comments and the date returned.

Queries that are concise and compelling are the most intriguing. 
                                  - Regina Brooks, founder, Serendipity Literary Agency
An Agent:

• Gets 15% of whatever you get
• Monies go directly to your agent, they send the balance to you
• Sells an idea and your ability to write
• Handles paperwork for the IRS
• Do not pay an agent for anything - including a reading fee

I started to submit query letters the middle of November 2010.  Some wanted a SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope), while others stated "email only."  An interesting experience!  I checked my emails constantly, as I nervously waited for the mailman.  I was out of control.  But I'm getting better.

Polite rejections are status quo for queries mailed . . . most are form letters.  One was handwritten . . . Not for me, but thank you.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  And of all the emails . . . only one replied!  Possibly the fastest rejection in history!  Sent at 5:01 p.m., the rejection arrived at 5:50 p.m., but it was polite.  I guess it's a lot easier to hit the delete key, then take a minute to say, "No Thank You."

My plan has been to give the "traditional way" one year . . . then consider self-publishing.  In this round, small publishers will be my target with some agents sprinkled throughout.  I'll never know unless I try!

Death leaves a memory that no one can heal, love leaves a memory that no one can steal.                 Anonymous

The demons of war continue to rage out of control.  Throughout the world brave men and women are engulfed in fear, death and destruction as they pray for strength and protection  Others long for the way it use to be, knowing it will never be again.

We must never forget the price these brave men and women are paying for their country . . .

My story is only one of millions.  A family shattered by the horrors of war dwelling in the man I loved with no understanding of what was happening.  Caught in a maze, I couldn't find my way out.  I want to touch others who know this heartache.  They're not alone.

I have a vision to find someone who knew my husband.  Someone willing to share what happened in Vietnam.  Someone who can give me a reason why.  And how do I find this person?  One day I will post the return address information off of letters received from Vietnam . . . letters yellow and faded by the hands of time.    

Lesson learned . . . my two cents

Each new day is a gift . . . cherish it . . . for this day will never come again.

B Is For Book Proposal . . . Part Two

How all this life would vanish, evaporate, if I didn't clutch at it, cling to it, while I still remember some twinge or glory.                   Sylvia Plath

My goal is not to bore you with the mechanics of writing a book proposal.  Rather my blog is meant to show what I've learned as a novice, having possessed an insatiable need to write my story and get it out of my head.  I want to reach others who have stories of their own chewing at their insides.  And give them hope and encouragement to step off the edge and feel the wind in their face.

I'm still unsure how, or who will publish my book, I can only share the steps I've taken and why.  A book proposal is part of this process.  Each of us must find our own way . . . this is my uncharted journey.

You don't write because you want to say something: You write because you've got something to say.                                          F. Scott Fitzgerald

Your book proposal must answer these questions:
          Why this book?
          Why you?

The crucial first paragraphs of your introduction must hook the editor with the single most exciting thing you can write that makes your book new, needed and timely.  You have approximately 20 seconds to get their attention.  How's that for pressure?

Below is a brief description of each phase of my proposal:

Premise - Your topic must stand out and fill a distinct need with national, and possibly international appeal.
Overview - Show how your book satisfies that need by reaching your readers curiosity, heart or mind.  Think of this section as an expanded book-jacket blurb.
Manuscript -  Status of your manuscript and book proposal.  How long until completion, or completed? 
Note:  It's best to have a book proposal completed when you begin to send query letters.  Agents and publishers need this tool, if they're interested.  Delay may quench that appeal.
Charastics of reader -  Know your readers.  Who will buy your book?
Statistics - Are there statistics that show a growing need for your topic?  If so, show them.
Example:  US Military in Afghanistan had lost 761 soldiers in combat, but a higher number in service.  817 had taken their own lives over the same period.  The surge of suicide has risen five years in a row.  Mark Thompson - Time Magazine  April 13, 2010. 
Competition -  List other books on your topic, and show why yours is different and/or unique.
The Author - Emphasize your authority for writing the book.  I was intimitated as a writer with no prior achievements.  In class, I was told to list writing classes, conferences, community functions I've attended, and any other areas that might give me creditability.
Mission Statment - Optional.
Synopsis -  This was more difficult.  In the end, I condensed my entire book to 5 single-spaced pages.  This included chapter highlights, noting each main character, important scenes, and the end.
Sample Chapters - In this area, I chose my first chapter, and one of my "best" chapters.  A chapter filled with action and emotion.

Writing my book proposal was a labor of love.  It was complex and demanding, but it helped me to grow as a writer.  For this I am grateful.

New Zealand . . . I'm so jealous of their accent

My trip to Auckland was amazing, other than some cold rainy days. I arrived almost 2 hours late, which upset Max (7) who alerted others in the airport his Nana was missing.  And I noticed Charlie (4) had picked up some of the accent.  My favorite word was "Da-dee."  I loved it! 

One afternoon, my daughter and I took a ferry to Waiheke Island for lunch at the Mudbrick Vineyard.  Our view overlooked the vineyards to the sea where we watched the rain approach.  We sipped white wine made from grapes grown there, while dining on elegantly prepared dishes.  But I must warn you . . . don't order the scallops because you only get TWO.  And I was hungry.

The days were filled new places, new faces and lovely food.  Too many to mention here.  A few things I found unique:  Children weren't required to wear shoes in school . . . Cars drive on the other side of the street, which is scary going up a mountain . . . Time seems to go more slowly . . . People are extremely polite, cars drive slower, and no one ever honks their horn.  Can you imagine?   

The night before I left, we were invited to a lovely dinner at a neighbors, whose parents and their friends were visiting from Australia.  It was one of the nicest evenings I can remember.  And my son-in-laws roasted beet root with sliced avacado was a hit.

It was a wonderful trip and I'm thrilled I went, even though it was winter.  Thank you, Tiff and Scott for your gracious hospitality.

Lesson Learned . . . my two cents 

Writing a book proposal is much like eating an elephant . . . one bite at a time.

Q Is For Query Letter . . .

Ode to Saturday morning and the opulence of writing in my PJ's.  A steaming cup of black coffee, a handful of cold cherries and a rice cake smothered in peanut butter at my elbow.  Seagulls screech over the crashing waves at Big Sur ebbing from my Media Player.  A setting decadent as a piece of rich dark chocolate. 

What more could a writer want?  THEIR BOOK PUBLISHED!

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.    
                                                                                                                        Gilbert K. Chesterton 

A query letter was my next mountain to scale.  Daunting and foreboding.  I knew it must start with a "hook" like my story, something that will grab the readers attention.  And it must be short!

Research . . . write, then rewrite.  It took weeks before I had something solid in place.  Something I was ready to read in class, if asked.  And I was . . .

Why was reading aloud so terrifying?  But I knew the answer . . . self-doubt!

May 1, 2010

Mr. Mick Silva, Editor

WaterBrook Press

Dear Mr. Silva,

              “Why in the hell did you call 911 when I tried to commit suicide?”

              This was part of a message left on my answering machine by my husband, a Vietnam vet, three months before he took his own life.  Devastated, I could not comprehend why our men and women die by their own hand after surviving the ravages of war.  I knew I wasn’t alone suffering in silence, watching the man I love destroy himself.  I knew tens of thousands, perhaps millions of other families live this nightmare with no place to turn.   

              

              Diary of a Vet's Wife, subtitled Loving and living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, my memoir at 96,000 words covers an eighteen year period in my life lifted from personal journals.  This heartfelt love story took sixteen years to write and reads like a novel. 

Divorced with three young children, I longed to find the love of my life.  Eighteen months later we meet, oblivious to the perils waiting and all I would sacrifice for my dream.   Laced with love and heartbreak, secrets and fear, my unique story shows the family dynamics of living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, a normal reaction to abnormal life threatening stress.  I later learned I too had developed PTSD from living with my husband’s illness.  The reader will slip into my world like a fly on the wall as I take them places most have never been, while bonding with others who know the terrain that only love dare travel.

            In search of reason, I stumbled upon the peace that surpasses all understanding when I came to know God’s love as a born-again Christian, convinced He held my hand and walked with me through the valley of the shadow of death.  

            My expertise is that I survived to tell this story.  I’m committed to get this book into the hands of as many people as possible, exposing them to a deadly epidemic infesting our nation and the world, drawing attention to the raw wounds of war destroying families.  After all these years, suicide is still on the increase.  Each suicide is a tragedy . . . .     

Manuscript and Book Proposal are completed.  May I submit my work for consideration? 

Critique given in class showed compassion and concern, confirming the need I saw for those touched by war.  Now to find an agent and/or publisher who held the same vision . . . the same passion.

Within weeks, I attended the Orange County Christian Writers Conference.  Mick Silva, an acquisition editor with WaterBrook Press, was key speaker, later hosting a workshop.  He announced he would accept any well-written book proposal.  I only had my query letter, which he agreed to take a look at.   

But it wasn't meant to be.  By the time I returned from my family reunion in Ohio, he was no longer with WaterBrook Press.  He was on his own.   

Now I had to go to Plan B.  The problem . . . I didn't have a plan B.

Lesson learned . . . my two cents

Every writer who wants to be published must have a Plan B!  And maybe a Plan C and a Plan D as well.