PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife goes to The White House

The purpose of life is not to be happy.  It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you lived and you lived well.            Ralph Waldo Emerson 

   Today, July 4, 2013 is the perfect day to be waiting for a USPS confirmation showing Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has arrived at the WHITE HOUSE!

This surprising challenge began May 18th with an email from Pets for Vets. "... Attended a GI Film Festival in Washington DC last month, where a documentary on Pets for Vets by a USC student was one of 50 films shown out of 1000 submitted. Several other films dealt with PTSD. Those directors and actors agreed more must be done to RAISE AWARENESS and find OUT-OF-THE-BOX solutions for this devastating disorder.  Pets for Vets was commended for a solution without relying on drugs."

She noted: "Although we haven't talked with any veterans who have read your book yet, those who know you wrote it are thankful and appreciative. They have all commented that most people have no understanding of PTSD and the wide variety of POTENTIAL TRIGGERS. They want awareness of the issue raised and think books like yours are an important step in that direction."

Attached was a clipping from an Indiana newspaper entitled: "Legion's leader meets with Obama.  She pointed out: "Since our National Commander of the American Legion meets with President Obama, he definitely needs a copy of your book."

The wheels began to turn.  My one chance-in-a-LIFETIME!  I couldn't let it slip through my fingers.

By June 20th, my RESEARCH was complete. My letter introducing Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and MISSION was polished.  With a prayer on my lips, I pressed SEND.

The next morning I received this reply: "I have spoken to the Commander. You may send your book to him at the following address .... He suggested  you also send one to Mrs. Obama ..." giving her address.  Then she went on with words of encouragement and offered other suggestions to further my MISSION!

Delight kindled my HAPPY DANCE that seemed to last for hours!

Next step, compose a letter to Mrs. Obama.  It was intimidating, but I refused let fear control the outcome. By Friday, June 28th, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was in the hands of our United States Postal Service Priority Mail and on its way to Washington DC.

Now I wait ... it's still hard to believe!

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, AMERICA!

The first Independence Day celebration took place in Philadelphia on July 8, 1776.  This was the day that the Declaration of Independence was first read in public after people were summoned by the ringing of the LIBERTY BELL ... 237 years ago.
 

Our COUNTRY may be young but our history shows dedication to the freedom of all mankind.  America will always be the land of the free because it is the home of the brave.  We're proud of our man and women of the United States Armed Forces, whose diligence and courage make freedom possible today and for the future.

This HOLIDAY is celebrated with family gatherings where children throw Frisbees and men fire up grills for juicy hamburgers and hotdogs.  Women arrange a spread of homemade favorites and the flies die of happiness.

Once the sun melts into darkness, the magic begins.  Fireworks of every shape, size and color sizzle and dance across the night sky in a breathtaking ballet of lights.  And NOISE!

Last night I read an article, PTSD TRIGGERS - FIREWORKS ALERT, that I'm compelled to SHARE.

A veteran's wife, Michele Smith, pleaded with people to refrain from setting off fireworks in neighborhoods where the explosive sounds can cause major difficulties for our veterans.  She explained, "Last year's FOUR days in a row of explosions in their neighborhood started her husband on a PTSD downhill spiral that landed him in an inpatient lockdown facility a few days later."

She shared what her husband was able to tell her on that first night of fireworks last year.  "I can tell myself all night long those explosions out there are not a danger to us and that I'm NOT in Iraq.  INTELLIGENTLY, I understand.  But that doesn't stop the awful FEELING inside me that IF I don't go out there and try to do something about it, people ARE going to die!" 

She felt it would help if the general public was better informed how severely this affects many veterans, so that they may choose different options for celebrating their 4th.

I agree with Michele and hope people will think twice before shooting fireworks within our neighborhoods, knowing they will be helping our heroes live a more peaceful life after war.  And thank you for caring.

Lesson learned . . . my two cents

Last night I watched my latest Netflix, Memorial Day - instead of finishing my blog.  It showed a different viewpoint and I was deeply moved and inspired.  All who care about our veterans will benefit from this heartfelt true story.

Stories live forever but only if you tell them.  ~ Memorial Day (2012)

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife and Memorial Day Memories

War has gone on since the beginning of man's creation. And will continue until the end of time. This necessary evil brings death and pain not only to its victims, but also to the warriors and their loved ones covering our small planet. It's not the way we'd like it to be - it is the way it is.         ~ Nancy MacMillan, author

Diligently, I queried agents for a twelve-month period before I made the decision to self-publish my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. To my disappointment most agents failed to reply, yet the rejections I did receive were polite and encouraging. Honestly, it seemed to me - no one was willing to touch the subject matter.

Was it too real?

 Memorial Day began in 1868 to honor all the military personnel who gave the ultimate sacrifice for their country and freedom. These brave warriors rest in peace not only on American soil, but approximately 125,000 are buried on foreign soil. American Battle Monument Cemeteries are located throughout the world (Belgium, France, Nova Scotia, England, Libya, Russia, Spain, Denmark, the Netherlands, Mexico and Australia). 

The Arlington National Cemetery in Washington, D.C. is one of 146 National Cemeteries in the United States. It covers 624 acres where 267,000 flags fly in memory of each of these brave warriors on Memorial day.

Our country is split by war. Each of us longs to live in peace and harmony, but how can this be attained without welcoming terror to our shores with open arms? There is no easy answer.

For me, this holiday unlocks memories and the trauma of war that daunted my warrior and our family for too many years. Skeletons of battle dancing in the hallways with no way to exorcise them. 

Though wars still fester for power, I'm encouraged by the awareness and hope in growing numbers worldwide, and their passion and concern for peoples of all nations. Women and children are the most vulnerable. 

The war I lived through is behind me, but sadly thousands have stepped into my shoes. Where we differ? They're blessed to have what I never had - someone to reach out to who understands. Many dedicated organizations now exist, while new groups are surfacing nationwide, committed people who truly love and care for our warriors who gave so much, and their families. Selfless men and women are waiting for the phone call. 

My heartfelt cry to those who are struggling - "Please seek help immediately. Love and understanding are waiting, but you must take the first step."  (Contact information in previous blog)

 A love for tradition has never weakened a nation indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril. ” ― Winston Churchill

The post below is from October 3, 2011 - I felt it appropriate, if you're inclined to read on . . .

"The Moving Wall" - An Experience I Will Never Forget!

On Thursday, September 29, 2011, I had the priviledge of being in Santa Barbara attending my writing class on the same day "The Moving Wall" arrived at Chase Palm Park. Was this a coincidence?

Members of the Vietnam Veterans of America, Chapter 218 of Santa Barbara, proudly honored the service and sacrifice of the 11 million men and women who served during the Vietnam War by bringing "The Moving Wall" to their fair city.

"When the soldiers came home from Vietnam, there were no parades, no celebrations.  So they built the Vietnam Memorial for themselves."         - General Wm. C. Westmoreland 

"The Moving Wall" is a replica of the original memorial on permanent display in Washington DC, where carved in granite are 58,226 names of brave Americans honored and remembered forever. We honor the courageous service of America's 2.8 million Vietnam Veterans - especially the 58,226 men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice in serving their country for the enduring cause of freedom.

I pulled into the parking lot, took a ticket from the meter and found an empty parking space closest to the Memorial, though I still had a distance to walk. I sat in the car lost in thought. Questions filled my head. This was the closest I've come to "it" since the day I buried my husband's ashes in Houston National Cemetery, after which they folded his flag and presented it to me.  Could I do this with grace and dignity like Jacqueline Kennedy, or would I melt into a blubbering puddle?

I followed a sidewalk to the street and headed toward the monument. A photographer toting a heavy camera passed by. Towering palms scattered the patchy green grass. The sight of The Wall off in the distance, the sky and the ocean it's backdrop, enfolded me like a loving grandparent I'd never met. I felt timid, yet I knew I belonged . . .

They walk as if on hallowed ground. They touch the stone. They speak with the dead. They come to mourn and to remember, memory mixing with grief, making an old ritual new, creating in this time another timeless moment.   - 25th Anniversary Commemorative

In the distance, the long narrow black wall appeared to rise out of the ground where people stood like toy soldiers set in groups of two or three. Flags of many countries rose high against the hazy afternoon sky, furling in unison. A large khaki tent stood guard off to the right. As I drew near, the black panels began to reveal meticulous white lettering. Snapping flags overhead muffled the soft murmurs of family members, some clutching framed  photographs to their chest, as they stood solemnly talking with counselors near The Wall.

It was surreal . . . until it hit me.

The avalanche of names washed over me. Dear God, so many names. Too many names. Each called from the wall. I could hardly breathe. 58,226 names including 8 women. The Vietnam war. They all died in battle. This was all that was left of these warriors who were part of us, never again to feel the sun on their faces, or taste the salty air from an ocean breeze.

A train echoed from afar. A lean-muscled man riding a bicycle pulled up. His fluorescent green jacket and trimmed white beard reflect off the shiny black wall like a mirror. He straddled the bike as his eyes eagerly searched the names. One woman wandered a distance from the wall. Maybe fearful as I was to get too close. Afraid of being swallowed alive by the reality before us.

The Wall elicits a physical response. It has inspired visitors to represent their own grief, loss, rage, and despair. Contributing their private representations to public space they cross a boundary between the private and the public, the nation and the citizen, powerfully claiming the memorial as their own.   - 25th Anniversary Commemorative

The Vietnam war. So many names. So many died in battle. Yet many more returned home wounded to the core still fighting the battle. Their never-ending battle. Day and night the mortars still blaze, the screams, the cries still echo in the din. These returning soldiers who found themselves shunned and abandoned by a great many civilians who were not able to separate the war from the warrior.

As a writer, how can I not say what I feel? How my heart still aches for my husband . . . and all the names on this wall. It aches for all the people who loved and cherished the people who were these names, and feel the pain they still bare. I reached out and touched one name . . . Leon B Smith II in raised white letters. My heart hurt. Then I noticed a sign that read, "Do Not Touch the Wall."

I spent a large part of the afternoon sitting on the grass, a distance from the wall, journaling, taking pictures and thinking. How can these families heal? I wrote a book which allowed me to put my heart on paper. I may have found healing . . . but I can never forget.

Occasionally, I'd wander up to the wall and walk its length looking at the volumes of names which loving parents carefully chose for their precious newborn as they envisioned the bright future their baby would grow into.

And never dreaming the name they chose would one day stand as part of the history of our country.

Lesson Learned . . . or my two cents

The human heart can be shattered in a million pieces . . . yet you still must go on living.

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / The Truth and Vulnerability

“A person is, among all else, a material thing, easily torn and not easily mended.”       ― Ian McEwan 
 

My memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, has reached the far corners of our planet in search of readers living in the wake of PTSD. I invite others with compassion for our warriors, to learn what too many veterans contend with after they return from combat. Each family may cope with something different, yet we belong to each other. I can only show what happened to me and my family.
 

Telling the truth has opened wounds I cannot heal. I can only say, "I'm sorry." Had I not put my story on paper, I was sure it would have eaten me alive from the inside out. I have made myself vulnerable so others might learn and to give them hope.

It takes two to speak the truth one to speak, and another to hear. ~ Henry David Thoreau

The past months have vanished like a breath in the wind as I plow through books and websites of  MARKETING ideas. Each morning I face my opponent boldly as it winks and taunts me with a beckoning finger, enticing me into yet another maze of information to be digested. It can be overwhelming, but I know this too shall pass.

Regretfully, I've had little time lately for writing and creating, so I decided to post a blog from earlier last year that you may not have seen:

Wounded Warriors Walk Among Us     (February 2, 2012)

"After wars' end, soldiers once again become civilians and return to their families to try to pick up where they left off.  It is this process of readjustment that has, more often than not, been ignored by society." -- Major Robert H. Stretch, Ph.D in Textbook of Military Medicine: Vol. 6 Combat Stress

Recently, we witnessed our troops returning home from Iraq. It was the biggest U.S. withdrawal since WWII with another 33,000 troops due home from Afghanistan this year. Certainly GREAT NEWS for families praying for their safe return.  

Major television stations throughout the country broadcast the "Homecoming" of these brave man and women reuniting with loved ones after a long fierce war. Spellbound voyeurs, we shared in the first crushing embraces and unashamed tears, while young children were swooped up in happiness and held high overhead. We grinned as bright-eyed babies warily met their fathers for the first time.

But all parties come to an end. The time comes for our veterans to return home and emotionally detach from the war they left behind thousands of miles across the sea. Everyone wants to believe they can STEP BACK into the lives they left behind - but it hurts me to say, it doesn't work that way. 

Battle has changed each of them. Some physically, all mentally. It's this knowledge that burdens my heart. I've been there - I know what clings to the shadows.

When news came to Walt Whitman that his brother George had been wounded at Fredericksburg during the Civil War, Whitman rushed south to find him. Though his brother's injury was slight, Whitman was deeply affected by his first view of the war's casualties. He began visiting the camp's wounded and, almost by accident, found his calling for the duration of the war. Three years later, he emerged as the war's "most unlikely hero," a living symbol of American democratic ideals of sharing and brotherhood.    

                     - The Better Angel, by acclaimed biographer Roy Morris, Jr.

Last week on MSNBC, I saw that St Louis was the first city in our country to have a parade for their returning warriors from Iraq. I was moved by the heart of this city because they understood what should be done to HONOR our veterans and help the HEALING begin  . . . and they did it!   

  

Why hasn't this happened all over the country? These brave men and women deserve our loyalty and respect along with our ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of the SACRIFICES they endured for us. We sit home safe and secure enjoying the peace we take for granted, while these men and women fight and die for our country in another land far away. I don't understand .
    

  

I feel the need to share my thoughts because I lived with a Vietnam veteran who suffered with PTSD for 16 years. He was the love of my life, but at that time there was no help. Today, resources are at our fingertips through the wonder of the Internet. Although they are still not enough to meet all the needs of our veterans it's a start. 

One reason I wrote my story, Diary of a Vet's Wife, was to show our country what was happening right under their noses, and to give support to those families now living the nightmare. This CRISIS is real. The war does not stop when our troops withdraw from combat. It follows them home like a big black dog.

My memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, shows the devastating side effects of war on one family, yet I know there are mega-thousands throughout the world living this nightmare as I once did.  How can we STOP it?

The signs of post traumatic stress disorder MAY start out subtle. Many refuse to admit anything is wrong.

What You Need to Know

• Traumas happen to many competent, healthy, strong, good people.
• Many people have long-lasting problems following exposure to trauma.
• People who react to traumas are not going crazy.
• Having symptoms after a traumatic event is not a sign of personal weakness.
• When a person understands trauma symptoms better, he or she become less fearful and are better able to manage them.

PTSD Symptoms/Signs generally fall into 3 main categories: 

    

     Intrusive - Re-experiencing traumatic events                                                

• Distressing recollections
• Flashbacks
• Nightmares
• Feeling anxious or fearful

     Avoidant - Drawing inward or becoming emotionally numb

• Extensive and active avoidance
• Loss of interest
• Feeling detached from others
• Restricting your emotions
• Trouble remembering
• Shutting down
• Feeling strange
• Not feeling pain or other sensations

     Hyper-arousal - Increased physical or emotional arousal

• Difficulty sleeping
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating or thinking clearly
• An exaggerated startle response
• Being overly angry or aggressive
• Panic attacks

     Triggers can include the following:

• Specific scenes
• Movement
• TV
• Sound or smell
• Reading
• Touch
• Situational

If you or a loved one seems overwhelmed by PTSD symptoms, please remember, there are many resources available to you. If you need immediate help, PLEASE GET IT NOW! PTSD does not go away on it's own . . . and will only get worse left unattended. 

Below I've listed the number of The Veterans Crisis Line. Please check out Veterans Crisis Line.net, even if you don't think you need it now. Get familiar with the resources available, and save this information for easy access.  Please call . . .


The Veterans Crisis Line is a U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs resource that connects Veterans in crisis and their families with qualified, caring VA professionals through a confidential toll-free hotline and on-line chat.

Download the Veterans Crisis Line logos and other graphics to display on your website or materials to show support for our Nation's Veterans and help them get the care they deserve.

The new VA suicide prevention hotline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255), recently reported that it's received more than 55,000 calls, averaging 120 per day, with about 22,000 callers saying they were veterans.

(Excerpts taken from retired website: PTSD Combat: Winning the War Within)

 Lesson Learned . . . My two cents

"We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full."    - Marcel Proust

Thank you for stopping. If you're unable to post a comment here, you can email me at:  onhrway@earthlink.net.

"Diary of a Vet's Wife" reveals PTSD / Marketing / Reviewers

On December 5, 2012, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, left the protection of my heart and stepped boldly out into the world. I am the woman who lived this life, but I know there are thousands throughout the world who know the love, heartbreak and fear I share on the pages of my memoir.     

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tunes without words, and never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson 

I flew to AUSTRALIA three days after my book came out where I wandered the crusty shores of this beautiful country. A shoreline dappled with porous coves, vanishing rock pools and jagged slabs of rock that only nature could construct. Its powerful dashing crashing surf could seduce any CALIFORNIA girl with a wink. A dream-like Christmas holiday with my daughter and her family, a rare and loving gift.

I had planned to detail the breathtaking landscape, the gentleness of its people and a petting zoo hopping with baby KANGAROOS. Tales of its hungry wind and calf-burning hills, an enchanted white butterfly, and my first taste of PAVLOVA drenched in PASSIONFRUIT. 

But when I turned on my computer, MSNBC opened with a major headline: The enemy within: Soldier suicides outpaced combat deaths in 2012!  Reality yanked me back by the hair.

Our brave men and women who go where they're told to fight the battles they're handed are giving up! They are OUR NATIONS BACKBONE and we MUST stand beside them!

Sometimes reality is too complex. Stories give it form.   - Jean Luc Godard

The following week another MSNBC article, "Like an airborne disease," was startling. It told of the increase in family members taking their own lives. I immediately emailed the NBC news correspondent who wrote the article to briefly relate my own dance with the demons, my book and my passion to reach others with HOPE. He replied in NINE MINUTES! I was shocked! 

Other articles he wrote showed the COMPASSION he shares for our warriors and their families. He also sent me the names of two top RESOURCES to start my quest, plus the following excerpt from his email:

Sorry to say, I don't think we would do anything specifically on your book. But when we revisit this topic - whether it would be about PTSD or suicide - I can use you as a source and include the title of your book. I have a couple of upcoming stories where your thoughts and experiences may fit in well. 

A note to all writers: Go with your INSTINCT! Turn over every rock on your path because you never know what treasure lies beneath - when it comes to MARKETING your work.

 The next phase of my journey - MARKETING 911 . . .

On June 26, 2011, I posted a blog entitled Marketing in an Electronic World . . . My First Steps.

• create a blog
• construct a MARKETING PLAN
• join a Writers Group Online

On July 28, 2011, I posted, The Marketing Medusa . . . Don't Let it Overwhelm You!

• qualities needed to successfully market your book
• locating your target audience and others for your work

Reference above posts . . .  

Since my return from Australia, the main focus has been Reviews/Reviewers. I had ordered 25 books before I left. They were waiting like happy puppies. The  more you order the better the discount. The first copies are being sent to friends and family I ACKNOWLEDGE in my memoir. Pets for Vets was also on that list. A few organizations are still waiting for their copies. If only there were more hours in a day.  

Self-publishers have the INTERNET at their fingertips like a giant fortune teller with insomnia, its catacombs pulsating with answers as it waits for a question to be asked.

Multiple lists of Reviewers are available on the internet. Research to highlight those who read your genre and  verify they are accepting new books. ALWAYS contact a reviewer before you send your book. It could take 3-6 months to be reviewed. 

I'd like to invite any reviewer or book club interested in my memoir to contact me at diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com where we can discuss your request. This email address is on the back of my book for any reader or organization wanting to talk or share.

"Determine your "official publication date" (OPD) and make sure it's 90-120+ days after your "bound book date" (BBD), the date you have printed books in your hands. Use this period to get your book into the hands of key industry reviewers and to start building your book buzz.

For NICHE BOOKS - Keep beefing up your "final book" review copy list by hunting up websites that deal with your subject Area. Shoot for initial list of 200-300 and grow from there. Create a system for keeping track of your contacts."
                                                                      - Well-Fed Self-Publisher by Peter Bowerman

I'm overwhelmed by the reviews coming in. All seem touched with new insight as to what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder really is. Their kind words and encouragement continue to push me beyond my comfort zone. I can never thank you enough, for myself and all the others, who have met the demons I encountered and conquered!   

Food for thought . . . my two cents

I would greatly appreciate your reviews on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It need not be long, but may coax someone else dealing with this issue to reach out for comfort in knowing they're not alone. My heartfelt thanks, if you're so led.   

As one reader wrote: 

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is a story the American public may not want, but needs to hear. Especially now that there is a promised date to the Afghanistan presence of U.S. and troops of other nations, which will lead to large numbers of newly returned men and women who have experienced this certain form of hell.                                   Review by Jack Smith, writer and author

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife Appeared on My Doorstep!

The first copy of Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder sits on my desk at my elbow. My husband's eyes look over at me. What I'm feeling is difficult to put into words, something quite poignant. After all the years and all the tears, my MEMOIR not only has a face, but now it has a physical presence. I hold in my hand a piece of my life that was so powerful I had to put it on paper to keep my heart from shattering. As I fan through the pages I watch my words blur under my thumb. I'm afraid if I blink it will disappear.

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the  hearts of men.
      ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It wasn't until I contacted my self-publisher to approve the galley that I learned there was still more WRITING to be done! More delay!

I was now requested to submit the Book Page Submission Form which included the following:

1. Author bio. Must use third person. Limit 50 words.
2. The total number of physical pages.
3. Search Terms. Specific words and phrases related to the subject of my book. Limit 20 words or phrases.
4. Chapters to Excerpt. They found that offering one or two chapters of the book for free to customers helped improve a books sales.
5. Short Description. Would be displayed on the category page. Limit 10 words. (Ten words? They had to be kidding!)
6. Long Description. It needed to be a description of what the book is about. LIMIT 500 WORDS. (This was going to take some time!)

It wouldn't be half-bad, if that was ALL that I was doing right now . . .

However, I'm also in the middle of getting ready to leave for AUSTRALIA on Saturday, December 8th to spend Christmas with my daughter and her family, returning on the 27th. What a dilemma! Everyone knows I HATE to pack, which I posted last year when I went to New Zealand. I still need to find that professional packer!

Talk about PRESSURE! Not to mention Christmas cards and presents.  It's a special time of year when we're should to be filled with peace and joy. Honestly, I am filled with GREAT JOY and thanksgiving, but where can I find peace with so much still to be done? Probably not until I buckle my seatbelt on Virgin Australia. :)

But there is HAPPY NEWS . . .

The writing requirements have been completed and my BOOK went up for SALE late yesterday afternoon at BookLocker, my self-publisher. The AUTHOR PAGE looks amazing! The book should appear soon on the other online sites (Amazon, B&N, Books-a-Million, etc), but I'll be out of pocket when it happens. The author photo was attached today and I leave for Australia on Saturday. Now this is what I call "CUTTING IT CLOSE!" :)

Attached is the link: http://booklocker.com/books/6576.html. The complete first chapter is available for viewing.

I apologize for writing in such haste, but I wanted to reach you before my flight takes off. I'll still be burning the midnight oil, but I'll definitely be happy to check "WRITE BLOG" off of my list. :)

I wish each of you a wonderful holiday season with friends and loved ones according to the tradition you celebrate. 2013 is but weeks away when we hail in another NEW YEAR. If I had only one wish, it would be that all wars end and that all peoples come together to live as one in peace and love . . .

"Safety and happiness can only come from individuals, classes, and nations being honest and fair and kind to each other."    ~ C.S. Lewis

PTSD / Diary of a Vet's Wife / Where's the Book!?!

On July 28, 2012, I learned that my memoir, Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder had slammed into a brick wall, and for a while, I didn't know if my PERFECT COVER was going to survive.  I was crushed . . . but not broken.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.     Gilda Radner

My last post on July 16^th was a SNEAK PEEK at the cover of my memoir, Diary of a Vet’s Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The PERFECT COVER for my story!

A literary high enveloped me as I downloaded my PERFECT COVER to Booklocker, my self-publisher, on July 28th.  My mind wandered as I envisioned unwrapping the brown paper package, which could arrive within two weeks.  After all the tears and all the years, I would finally hold in my hands, the first copy of Diary of a Vet's Wife, otherwise known as the galley.

The next day, I learned my cover had been rejected!!

It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.   Robert W. Service, poet

BookLocker’s email indicated there was no bleed . . . .  

What did that mean? I had no idea, so I looked it up: "A bleed is when a photo or graphic runs beyond the edge of the finished printed page, with the excess trimmed off before the book is bound.  You prepare for a bleed in the document setup before you begin your layout, and in the file preparation for the commercial printer after the design is finished."

I forwarded BookLocker's email to Australia, but they were already on holiday in Hawaii.  And I was leaving for my family reunion in Ohio - for THREE weeks.  What a predicament!

Hence, the parade of delays began . . . .

Once I returned from Ohio, my team in Australia worked diligently to correct the problem.  After another rejection, they apologized with the fact that they were unable to meet all of the printer's specifications.

I contacted BookLocker and asked if their cover designer could correct the bleed.  My next lesson unfolded . . . "like all written material, there’s an automatic copyright on original covers."  BookLocker’s cover designer would only design a NEW COVER!

But I didn't want a new cover!  Was I about to lose my PERFECT COVER?

A tearful pity party brought my sister to my rescue.  She and her husband have published a local newspaper in Ohio since 1995.  She said SHE COULD FIX IT!!  Thank you, Lord.  However, she and her assistant must start from scratch.  By working with the team in Australia, they could duplicate the original cover design, but I'd have to WAIT IN LINE with the newspapers yet to be published.  

“A setback is a setup for a comeback.”  T.D. Jakes 

Sadly, my technical-know-how could swim laps in a match box.  Without going into detail, I learned that "computer advertising" and "newspaper printing" each have their own unique set of specifications.  Never the two shall mix like oil and water.  Period.  

Self-publishing is a little like putting an octopus to bed.   Anne Lamott

I'll skip the details.  As soon as the three editions went to press, my sister, Karen, and her assistant, Amanda, went to work to re-create my PERFECT COVER.  All of the original photos, blurbs, book review, etc., had been sent from Sydney to Ohio, where everyone concurred to duplicate the original cover.  There were a few snags along the way, but all were determined to make it happen.  My sister is amazing!

I held my breath and waited.  Everything was upside-down and I had no idea how to translate this into a blog.  Anyone ever been there?

On October 29th, the re-creation of my PERFECT COVER was downloaded to BookLocker!  They acknowledged receipt!  The next day, I learned that shortly after my cover was sent, Hurricane Sandy hit Ohio, knocking power out for three days.  I feel guilty being happy when so many have had their lives and futures destroyed.  Please forgive me.

Where am I today?

As a writer, who decided to self-publish after a year of querying with no results, I can breathe again.  If I had known the challenges up-front, would I still have proceeded?  I don't know.  But I do know I'm a much stronger and self-confident person because of this journey.

What next? 

I wait for the galley.  And as soon as it arrives, I'm going to Trader Joes and buy bouquets of yellow roses!  Off  in the distance you might hear the sound of fireworks soaring through the heavens, as I compose a blog with the announcement.  I've spent almost two decades preparing for this moment!

My Personal Request ~

If anyone reading my memoir knew my husband, Lorne, in Viet Nam, I'd like to communicate with you.  Does anyone know who took the picture that's on the cover?  I'd be most grateful. . . .   

Please contact me @ diaryofavetswife@hotmail.com.  

PTSD / "Diary of a Vet's Wife" / Sneak Peek at the Cover

July 4th, 2012 was the date I set to release Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - the driving force behind my madness. Regretfully, I didn't make it. But I tried! The good news? I'm close, very close!

Liberty is the breath of life to nations.  ~George Bernard Shaw

As I sat watching the Fourth of July fireworks dance over New York city on TV, mesmerized by the blazing light show, my thoughts drifted to those who fought for the freedom we enjoy and often take for granted. Far too many young men and women gave the ultimate sacrifice. Yet what about those warriors who returned home dragging the war behind them?

Our country has such abundance, compared to what I see throughout the world and the havoc and terror so many have to deal with. Why must war rage on? The thirst for power ... freedom ... human dignity. The constant battle of good and evil. These wars we see from the outside, continue to FESTER on the inside long after they are over. And it's happening all over the world!

I know because I've lived with that aftermath of war. I know first hand the pain and heartbreak, and the never-ending feeling of helplessness.

Diary of a Vet's Wife, Loving and Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder may be my story, but there are thousands living as I once did, which compelled me to share my journey from its beginning. I wanted others to know they're not alone, and maybe they can learn from the lessons I was taught ... before it's too late.

A picture is worth a thousand words.  ~~ Napoleon Bonapart

Pictures can speak louder than the people in them. The setting - the light - the mood - the eyes.  Amazing photographs stream across the internet faster than a fire storm, yet they are soon forgotten. 

Then there are photographs hidden away in an old hat box in the back of a closet. Tucked out of sight for decades. Pictures that leave an INDELIBLE impression that often linger for a lifetime. 

During the last year I struggled with ideas for my book cover. Suggestions and renderings were offered but nothing was quite right.  A few months ago, my daughter and son-in-law in Australia sent an email asking to join the MacMillan team, and they volunteered to do the cover. Each creatively endowed in many areas, I was delighted to welcome them onboard.

Soon afterwards an email arrived requesting a photograph of my husband in uniform. Hmmm ... I didn't have such a photo. I didn't meet Lorne, my husband, until two years after he returned home from Vietnam.

Immediately, I called his mom in Houston and explained my dilemma. She wasn't sure if she had one either but said she would check.  A week or so later, I received a letter and six photos.  She apologized because she only had two of Lorne in uniform.

I had never seen either photo. One was an official military photo, the other just a snapshot. They held me captive as memories knawed at my heart. The following day I made copies for my mother-in-law and myself, then sent the originals to Australia.

Tiffany and Scott did their magic while I scrambled with what I had to do. There was proof-reading and formatting once the manuscript was sized to fit (5.5 x 8.5). Everything must be perfect. Self-publishing means you alone are responsible for any errors. Period! I still had to polish off a blurb for the back cover, which would also appear in Ingram's catalog with a 75 word minimum. I touched base with my patient editor a few more times. And there was the author photo to decide on.

When the back cover is complete, it will be downloaded for the printer. I then wait for the galley, the first book, which must be proof-read again - all 320 pages. Once I sign off on it - it's ready to roll! I promise to keep you posted! 

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The sneak peek! Last Friday, I finally viewed the finished front cover of my book and I couldn't be more pleased.  It's perfect!  My story now has a face unlike any other.